very depressed
id rather be crying tears of joy
instead of tears of pain
my heart has been hurt again
by false love that i i try to obtain
why do i fall for the traps
that make my heart feel so sick
they make me feel like im wanted
when in reality in just there to suck at shit
all i want is love
why is that so hard to find
someone who cares the same as i do
who not one to judge and be shy
my heart is crying so hard now
because i let u in
just for u to walk out of the door
and u to call me your friend
there is nothing wrong with being friends
i have so many that i cant count on my hands
but someday id like one of them
to be not just my friend but my man
so when i go camping over the weekend
i prolly wont call
ill be locked away in my tent with tears
that there will be enough to fall off the falls
i dont like being alone anymore
but i guess i was right from the start
im bound to be alone forever
and be the fool who falls apart
for those who are wondering... i fell for someone, he is my friend.. and now my heart hurts because its breaking and im falling all apart.... i dont eat no more, i dont sleep any more all i do is when im alone is cry. when will it be my time for the sun to shine?? i keep thinking i see it but then a big rain cloud comes and the sun belongs to someone else... everyone seems so happy with a specail person like that.... im a single mom, raising a son who has no father, life is hard enough as it is with him talking and using the word daddy, it hurts because the one who made him i thought was gonna be there but isnt and never will be and i cry now about that too. this summer sucks ass. how do u tell ur almost 3 year old that mommy is ur daddy? and what do i say when down the road if he gets mad at me for not finding a daddy? or his? i think that if i stop dreaming about a life out there that will never be touched and be more realistic that maybe i can make a footprint in life.. but how can a dreamer not dream? i try not too sleep so i dont cry and i still cry .... i think that after the first accident i wish my friend didnt get help right away and just left me there for a few more mins and i wouldnt be here today. robbie has a good life if he is with his grandma.. its not like he needs me at all... i just wonder how it would be if i really didnt make it.. i wish i didnt neither wouldnt have to worry about finding true love, loosing friends, having a broken heart, watch my son grow not knowing his father, not having to try to impress my family to be somebody instead of a nobody,... what am i good for.. i cant drive. i work , and i make people pissed of at me for doing things wrong, or in just general ... talking. i would love to give up on life right now i really would. i wouldnt care if anyone was sad if i was gone,
