I did it and no one believed that I could. One entire year of no sex. No masturbation. No hydro-sex. No men and no women. I don't know if I would have auditioned for this reality show if I'd known how hard it was going to be to deny myself of all sexual pleasure for an entire year. But I did it.
I thought that after the first month or so it would get easier. And the first month was the hardest. I tell ya, if that damn camera hadn't followed me everywhere - and I do mean everywhere, including the bathroom, the shower, and to bed! - I'd have been jilling off all over the place. But I couldn't. The cameras were everywhere I was. And of course, everyone wanted to see what was going on and how I was doing. None of my friends believed I was going to make it. Jill teased me for weeks about the little white jacket she had waiting for me in the nice padded room she'd reserved in my name! Bitch! I knew she was really just missing my tongue! And boy is she going to get it now! I hope she likes being tied up!
And every guy I'd ever fucked was itching to run into me on the street so he could remind me of every blow job I'd given (what I wouldn't have done to be sucking on some hard cock in that first month!), every way he'd fucked me, every orgasm I'd had...you get the idea.
It was torture.
But the torture never really ended. The torture almost became like a friend. For every night that I lay in bed dying to slide my hand into my panties and rub my clit into a frenzy, I reminded myself of how incredibly fucking good it was going to be when I got out of this damn studio apartment and could fuck as much as I wanted to. You know, I can almost think my way into an orgasm now. If I had a few more months I'm sure I could master an orgasm through my imagination that no one else could detect without the most advanced of scientific equipment!
Anyway, this is the last night of my self-induced deprivation. Tomorrow morning I get to go to the studio and pick up my $100 000 check and of course, all of my sex toys that they confiscated a year ago. I wonder if the batteries will still work. Never mind - I bought some today just in case. I have the limo for the day and I hope the driver is a hot stud with a good ten inch dick because I'm going to fuck his brains out in the back seat of the limo for a good hour. That is before I get him to take me over to Jill's so I can teach her a little bit about deprivation.
Well, needing to get some sleep now. Lord only knows how long it will be before I get to sleep again! Can you fuck and sleep at the same time?
More Verdanna's Diary to come!
