"Giving up on something that no longer serves a purpose, or protects you, or helps
you, isn't giving up, it's growing up." Incubus Dreams - Laurell K. Hamilton
There's so much in/about my life that I'm unhappy with. Sometimes I can't see how to
break free, but when I read a statement like that, it's easier to identify just what
needs changing, and what needs to be thrown out altogether. Even if I don't always
know HOW, at least I can see where the problem lies.
And then there's Lindy. *sighs* She's perfectly able-bodied, but refuses to work,
instead she's living off the disability she gets for her sons' ADD. I watch her sit
around, talking about building her dream house, working her dream job, having all
this nice stuff... but she does NOTHING to get there, and she's always scrounging
for change from her friends & family. It's her business, I know, but how can she be
stuck in a rut and HAPPY there? I'm RAGING to get out!
I'm annoyed by people who are not living up to their potential, and don't even try
even though they have the skills. Like when they talk about having big dreams, and
yet they sit on their ass & what, hope it will land in their lap? *deep sigh* Why is
it that some people are contented to not work, live off others, stay on this crappy
street/in this crappy town?
I have big dreams, and am held back by my disabilities. I want to go get a real job,
make real money, and provide an awesome life for my kid. But I can't, you see, because
even leaving behind my mental issues, I have major physical obstacles. I can't be on
my feet for more than an hour at a time. Or sit for very long without my hips aching
& my back cramping up. I have to lay down a lot, and you can't do that on the job. I
have tried everything, and that's just how it is: I have special employment needs, so
I'm self-employed. That pays the bills, but it doesn't make it possible to have any
extra or save to move. We're well below the poverty line (less than $600 a month), and
barely making it. I'm not ashamed to admit that because I know I'm doing my VERY best.
Look, I'm not having a pity party here... Well, maybe I am. I'm just jealous of those
that don't live with pain. You don't know how easy you have it.
I'm sorry if this pisses anyone off, especially if you are currently getting help from
the state or something. I've been there (and I still rent my house as low-income property).
It's a necessary thing sometimes. *nods* But if you are just lazy, shame on you. I'd KILL
to be able to work and support myself in a style I'd quickly become accustomed to.
-Jenny