Well... the papers were recieved today at my mom and dad's. So, I am relieved and yet I am anxious... I just hope that we can do this without the services of an attorney... I did not want to pay for this crap for it was not me that wanted the crap to happen in the first place... as they say woulda, coulda, shoulda....have to raise the head high and continue on. But I am glad that Leann has chosen to come home... even though I was hurt badly I still love my lil chit... would do anything for my kids...knowing that you do get burned being a parent...but the love is always unconditional.
I want my family unit near and with me... fearing that I will be alone for the rest of my days are really starting to freak me out...why do I have to be scared? why do I have to be hard and defensive? why do I do the things I do? Then I learn from my teen daughter as well as she learns from me... and she is slowly knocking sense into my old dusty brain and I am slowly but surely making a wee bit of progress...
I miss my sister... she has her business to run and all but I am not in the picture hardly anymore... sometimes I feel like towards my girls... I work, go home exhausted...eat...blog or what have you on the computer, and go to bed and repeat... damn I am pathetic...lol
Days off are for rest but I don't get any...lol as I say,"no rest for the wicked." Frontier Days is now here and I know I am going to hate it with a passion...I look forward to the Wednesday that I take the girls and that Saturday though...
if I have another venting trip... I will write some more feelings and crap I imagine... "cryin in your beer tunes" a playin...and that lil violin playing "my heart bleeds for you"
