I just have to let it out of my system because lately i have just been so down in the dumps that i don't really wanna talk to anyone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS BEING TREATED LIKE FUCKIN SHIT? Every relationship i have gotten into i have been called names, accused of shit im not even doin (Cheating etc).... i am not fuckin like that. Yes I did cheat one time and i had such a guilty fuckin conscience that i told him that night... It was the worst thing i could have done in my fuckin life and i swear to God i will never ever do it again. NOT IN MY FUCKIN LIFETIME. I am probably the most loyal person yo will ever fuckin meet.. but maybe i should fuck around... im being accused of shit ... it fuckin sucks and i'm so fuckin hurt by it!
I try to treat my guy with respect and love ..I get trampled on for it... I've been fuckin controlled and stupid me i listen to everythin and do what they want ...
What is it with you guys? And i say this to my ex's(which wont read this) .. You had a fuckin girl that loved you and would do anythin in the world for you. I tried to give it my all but that's not good enough. You fell in love with who i am... My personality (you loved it).. then as the relationship progressed you tried to change me... tried to keep me from the world. WTF! Just cause i talk to people doesnt mean im tryin to get with everyone... I just don't understand it.
I wanna be fuckin loved for who i am... don't try to change me... I like goin out and doin things.. not sittin home on the couch ... i want someone that can treat me with decent respect ... that wants to go out and do things with me as well as my daughter... I don't need fuckin bullshit anymore.
Yes I'm upset .. very very upset ... you wanna know why? Because i'm tired of the head games and yes it stems from what i'm involved with now. I dont even know where i stand with him.. first we are on then the next we are off.. he cant make up his mind.. it hurts.. now i know he really dont love me. Its all a fuckin game... and guys i'm sorry if you play them you SUCK! Because you have girls out there that would treat you like gold and not ask for anythin in return .... but know what you want before you get involved... don't hurt me or anyone else anymore!
I'm gonna go.. goin to work all fuckin upset!
