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Luv2's blog: "Lavendar Stars"

created on 10/22/2006  |  http://fubar.com/lavendar-stars/b16738
Take my hand.... You do not have to be afraid because there is nothing to fear here. I slowly reach forward ... hand shaking.... my eyes glisten and a single tear falls.... I pull my arm back... I'm afraid.... I know what it is that you offer.... I have waited my entire life.... Please forgive my hesitation..... I am so unsure....I fought so hard to get where I am....its been a long hard road.... but I am still scared....I fear that I am not ready... that I will fail.... that I will be a disappointment.... I don't know what to do.... It is almost midnight... the world is asleep... I am here ..... listening to my heart.... letting the healing process take its course... my emotions run from one extreme to the next.... I think that it is normal to feel as I do.... I think that in time all will heal...... My heart is kept in a beautiful red velvet box, under lock and key... protected from harm, from disappointment and from love.....the key lays right next to it in full view.....shining brightly in the night... the lights dance off of it filling the room with stars....I reach for it and and slide it into the lock... click......removing the key I lay it back down next to the box....I sit and wait.... I look around the room to make sure that I am alone... that no one is there to steal the key or to force me to open the box... exposing my heart.... How did you know that I would love you?...... I doubt every emotion that I feel.... I am not sure if what I feel is real ......my life is like a jigsaw puzzle with mismatched pieces.....my emotions and definition of things forced together just so they "fit"..... leaving behind anxiety and doubt..............so forgive me if I do not recognize you or accept what you have to offer....How did you know that I would love you?
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