How many times a week do y'all go to the grocery store? 30? It's 30 isn't it? WTF is wrong with me?!

idk how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you're into that.

I'm not bossy. I'm aggressively helpful.

I'm not mean, I'm spicy nice :)

Yay! I got it! Thank you all for your help!!!

Going for my 5k photo rates today. If you can help, I'd appreciate it!

Ok fam and friends. TOMORROW (Sunday) I'm going for my 5k pic rates. Can a girl get some help then?

Not elegant enough to be a vampire. Not jock enough to be a werewolf, soooo Goblin it is!

Some people will try to paint a bad portrait of you. Offer to autograph it for them.

We can't hang out if you're gonna cry every time they put us in handcuffs.

Alabama weather be like: Feeling cute. Might knock all your azeala blooms off with severe weather tomorrow. IDK

The weather is SO nice! It smells like married single men and suspended licenses outside!

Albert Einstein was a genius. His brother Frank, on the other hand, was a monster!

Oh Sweetie, you can keep your two cents. You look broke.

Some of you are the human version of a participation trophy

Things I am good at???????? Being short

This pollen got us Southern folk coated like some lemon pepper chicken wings

If we end up getting superpowers today because if the eclipse, I will not be a hero

No Sweetie, I don't want your man. Honestly, I don't even know why you want him.

Every Beastie Boys song is like: "Three little piggies, egg fried rice, I spy some girlies and the all look nice"