“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” ~Frank Zappa

Due to poor urban planning, my imagination is a wonderful place to visit, but I wouldn't recommend living there.

Seeing as how I'm getting a Kindle for my birthday and I got a gun for Christmas, "I will fucking shoot you if you interrupt me while reading." no longer qualifies as an idle threat.

Just finished reading through the story and manuscript fragments I [literally] scribbled down over a decade ago. I have come to the conclusion that a shrink would have been well worth the money.

This "new zodiac" can kiss the darkest part of my lily-white.

Seeing as how I can already curse fluently in five languages...I think I'm going to learn how to in Hindi and Marathi. Any language you can call someone a sisterfucker in is a must learn in my book.

"James Dean taught me not to speed, River Phoenix taught me not to DO speed, and Marlon Brando taught me to slow down on the cheeseburgers." --Emile Hirsch

If you can't say something nice...come sit by me.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

Coffee makes getting out of bed possible. Chocolate makes it worth the effort.

A guy sent me a message asking, "What else is there besides love and sexyness?" I told him, "Spell check."

Worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades.

YES!!! Thanks to those with auto-11's and Boomies...I appreciate it.

Alright...home stretch. I've worked my tail off today trying to level...anyone care to step up and lend a hand?

If you can't be a good example, at least be a warning.

I'll take "WTF are you talking about?" for $2000, Alex.

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bullshit before.

I didn't come here to help. I came here to mock.

Just located and dusted off a pair of 5" heels...game on, puppy dog.

Going to go dancing barefoot across the desert tonight to the sound of an amazing band, in the company of good people, with a cold beer in my hand.