People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.”

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

Whoever put the "S" in fastfood is marketing genius.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence...

Karma is like a rubber band, it can only stretch so far before it comes back and slaps you in the face...

can anyone help me to earn 300 billion through bling?

Karma is like a rubber band, it can only stretch so far before it comes back and slaps you in the face...

What do tofu and a vibrator have in common? They are both meat substitutes.

If your coworker has a picture of herself and her dog labeled "Beauty and the Beast" you shouldn't ask her which one is which...

If a woman speaks and no one is listening her name is probably Mom.

Please will anyone gift me some game tokens?

will anyone gift me some game tokens please?

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

“If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?”

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in...

I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society, I spilled the beans.

“Set my password as ‘wrong’ so the prompt always reminds me, ‘Your password is wrong.”

I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off. I guess I was stoned off my ass.

“At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”