Girl you're like a trophy bass I dont know whether to eat you or mount you!

It puts the lotion on the skin!

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

It puts the lotion on the skin!

What’s the best part about getting head from an Ethiopian chick? You know she’ll swallow.

Boobs are like the sun.... You can only stare at them for a few seconds at a time. Unless you wear sunglasses!

I must have a great butt because every time I walk away from people I always hear ''What an ass''

Going to cut one of my toes off and get a tattoo that says "this little piggy went to the market"

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

Dee... where you at... I need someone sweet to talk to...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA people suck fucking ass dude! You cant trust nobody anymore

DO YOUR THING

SMALL WORLD... found out I am friends on Fubar with the person that got me interested in working on my water color art skills... crazy! I don't have to google image search anymore hahaha

When I was kid, I was terrified of ear wigs because I thought they came out of your ears. Just imagine how scared I was when I heard about cockroaches!

"Bitches Get Stitches" is what I'm naming my clinic if I ever become a vet.

Don't mind her, She's been in a bad mood ever since that house fell on her sister.

Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet!

this aging cream I got works... my right hand looks 15 years younger!

I beat a horse cause them hoes kept stealing my tacos

BigFoot once took a picture of me... true story