Rest in Peace, Josh. May the sorry sons of bitches who killed you, rot in prison.

Ready to punch someone in the face, preferably my ex.

I've been married to a man, and now I'm apparently married to my job. Regardless of the situation, I get fucked over. This is why I'm divorced.

Work hard, play harder.

Why people get so butthurt over the most ridiculous things is beyond me. Put on some emo music, cry me a friggin' river and get the hell over it.

July 4th is the new New years.

Theres a party in my pants, and no, you're not invited.

I need to come with a warning label.

looks like this gal's sleeve is going to be started next weekend...YESSSS.

I have a hot date..with my bed. Ohhhh baby.

Drunk off of exhaustion. Oy vey.

Dear Fubar Support, You know I love you, right? Thank you for constantly reminding me that I have enough points to level, but due to this whole thing of being "pimped out", I cannot.

Well played, alcohol. Well played.

You want the naughty pics, huh..do ya?? Guess what, I don't have any, so get over it.

Men are so prude these days.

Celtics. 'nuff said.

3 words: Bitches be crazy.

Karma has been really sweet to me lately. Either I'm just THAT lucky, or shes buttering me up for complete disaster.

I was yelled at, pinched, hugged, kissed, threatened, and made people cry..and that was in the first hour of returning to work. Man, I love my job.

I'm in a serious, monogamous relationship with my hand. Doesn't talk back, does what its told, and knows what its doing.