My milkshake brings all the emotionally dysfunctional, selfish, narcissist, alcoholics with mommy issues to the yard.

Not to brag, but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. Just look at my exes.

Well, here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

I don't flirt, I just talk. It's not my fault everything I say comes out smoother than cream cheese on your bagel.

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a mans. She changes it more often."- Oliver Herford

"Best thing about me......I'm a limited edition. There are no copies. Bet you're thinking thank the good lord."

heartbroken

just a crazy jealous bitch.

Bored