I'm 36 years old, I'm divorced, and I have three amazing kids. Don't you ladies all stampede towards me at once...

Here's the deal. I could give a shit about points. I'm not going to donate Fu-bucks to you, comment bomb you, or rate things I don't want to rate. Buy you a blast? Why? So you can be inundated with friend adds leaving you with less time to talk to me? So I can see pictures of you that nobody else gets to see? Oh, wait, nobody but every other person who buys you a blast. I have more important things to spend my money on.

If I DO rate your pics, it's because I like them. Something about it moved or touched me somehow. Usually, it's a case of beauty, sometimes it's because I really like your tattoo, other times I just think it's a really good picture of you. I do NOT rate NSFW pics, i also will not rate pics just because they are supposedly sexy or show cleavage or get me hard. If I happen to rate one that falls into one of those categories, it's most likely for artistic reasons, or it happens to be one where your eyes show something most other pics of you don't.

I generally won't leave pic comments at all. If I have something to say about one, if it moves me to convey my thoughts to you, I'll send you a private message so I know you get my point. Same goes for profile comments. If I have something to say to you, I'll say it to you. Not the whole damn fu-world. -Unless of course I'm moved particularly to do so. I don't have time to look for snazzy graphics or create all the ones I would like to, let alone go to each profile I'd like to leave a message on.

I don't have any pictures of my feet. I really don't care to see yours. If we're having sex, and they're clean, and the moment moves me to, I'll kiss them, suck on them, lick them, whatever will heighten the experience. Alas, we're not, and probably won't be, so keep your socks on. It always amazes me that women won't put up nude pics, because they have too much respect for themselves, but will post pictures of their feet when asked to. Are you not aware that the guys who want to see them do the same thing guys who want to see the whole package might do? And probably more assuredly so? This site must be freaking Heaven for foot fetishists. If you're not offended by the thought of guys jerking off over your feet, why would showing your breasts be so immoral?

I have, in the past, had cam sessions, and am not averse to going there again. No, it's nothing close to being as good as the real thing, but it can be fun, and if I was getting the real thing I wouldn't be on the damn computer in the first place. If you don't do it, good for you. Most every time I've done it, though, it's been with a woman who, well, didn't do such things. In any case, it's not what I'm looking for, I won't ask for it, but if it happens to get brought up I'm usually game.

Yes, if you have nude pics on your profile that are available for me to view, I will most likely view them. I am a red-blooded man, after all. I will not, however, tell you how hot they are, how hard they make me, what they make me want to do to you, or print them out and send pictures of them covered in baby batter back to you. If you want to know all that, ask for my messenger id and we can go one further.

I will not send you an add request simply so I can see the aforementioned nude pics. If I want to add you, it's because there's something about you that interests me. Along these lines, if I send you a compliment somehow, it's because I am truly moved to, and will most definitely NOT contain the words hot, smokin, or fine. To me, "beautiful" is a very strong word and I will not use it lightly.

I have had some NSFW pics on my profile, of myself, for family only. I will not ask anyone to look at them, I will not ask anyone to rate or comment on them. I am fully aware that a lot of women don't really get off on pictures, I don't expect that they will ever be seen by many. They're there, however, should anyone choose to peruse them, and if you would like to see them, feel free to ask. I'll most likely let you.

I am not a Wiccan. I have nothing against Wicca, just as I have nothing against any other religious or spiritual belief, but it seems that this site has in its membership a vast number of Wiccans so I just thought it best to point out I am not one of you. Wicca does interest me, I tend to share a lot of the same beliefs, Goth just doesn't look good on me, and I have an aversion to fiery stakes.

Yes, I can handle it. It, you, them, and whatever else there is.

I will not Fu-fuck, Fu-marry, or Fu-own anyone, nor will I subject myself to be Fu-anything'ed. It's a website, people. Besides that, with all the women on here who don't cam, how the hell do you Fu-consummate?

Does anyone really want any more drama in their life? Does anyone really need to make it clear that drama has no place here? I prefer a good dra-medy any day.

If you don't bother to spell correctly and use proper grammar to the point where I cannot follow your train of thought, I am likely to think you are either mentally retarded or 13, or both, and I reserve the right to call out a dumbfuck where I see one.*

I absolutely love how every profile says "please read my whole profile before adding me..." or something along those lines. Then when you make the add request, it gets accepted, your own profile unseen. If I request to add you, be certain I did read your profile. Your picture may have caught my eye and led me there, but it's what's in your profile that decides whether or not you get my request. And having taken the time to read what you spent time putting forth, I would hope a few minutes spent reading my profile wouldn't be too much to ask. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE GONNA BITCH ABOUT PEOPLE NOT READING YOURS!

"If you're going to take the time to look at my page, at least take the time to rate and fan..." Fuck you. I know you can see that I've been there, do you know for sure I wanted to be? Might be I could care less who you are. I'm looking for new music to interest me. Mis-clicked. Or maybe I noticed immediately that your picture was a false representation of who you really are. If you're only worried about points, join Rate-My-Rack.
Then give me the link so I can rate you as I see fit.

Yes, I know you're not going to fuck me. I have no delusions. I'm not expecting to be able to use this site to get laid in real life. Please don't treat me as if I'm going to treat you as a piece of meat. There are special places to go for that kind of behavior, I do realize FUBAR is not real life, nor is it a virtual whorehouse. I do believe seeds can be planted here, nothing's to say one can't truly find a match here, but for crying out loud give me a little credit. I know it's hard to believe, the penis throws people, but some of us do live in the real world.
If, however, you would actually like to fuck me, no sense keeping it to yourself...

I reserve the right to change my opinion regarding anything I've just written at any point in time, without notice or purpose. I probably won't, though.

On to the real stuff...

*-This one line I stole from someone else, they probably stole it too, so no worries...