KNOCK ON WOOD?

Whats up with this knock on wood stuff. What a crazy superstition. I mean lets be real if someone knocked on you 5 times a day so nothing bad would happen to them you be pissed right? yo for all i know wood must hate humans, and if your surprised why karma still comes back at you, its because her homeboy wood told her to. Stop knocking on wood. All i know is dont knock on me because ill knock back cuh. -for bradley cooper and his superstition

GOT MILK?

what a stupid question. i mean is that even necessary? Who says that. lemme show u how dumb you "got milkers" would look in a conversation, "Hey John Doe, its been a while man, how are you? (perfectly fine until..) Yo, you got milk?". WTF!? No i do not carry around this dairy liquid you speak of. You act like i have six utters. And carmen elctra on a commercial with a white fake milk mustache is not gunna make me want some either. Niggah the milkiest thang on my body are my tits. And yes i "got" them, you dont need to keep reminding me that milk exsists with these stupid tee shirts and bumper stickers. listen i know where i keep the milk in my house so why dont u guys make refrigerators with signs that say got milk, cus then ill have acess to some. bc what if im behind a got milk bumpered car in the middle of the road and i say to myself "dayam, no i dont got milk?" what now? im going to go crazy bc im going to want some and i aint got none. you milk hoebahgs, yall just a tease. I mean im sure there are more important question to stick on you car like "Got BIRTHCONTROL PILLS?" Now thats important, you dont see 13 year old milk cartons getting pregnant now do you? getcha game right got milkers. i should run you, no some lactose tolerant dummy.

NOT EVEN FUNNY..

People always say, "omg i have the biggest headache its not even funny". Um earth to retard obviously its not bc ud be laughing, and if you were laughing i would be clueless bc i wouldnt even know why you were laughing, so it would be like an inside joke... with yourself (loser).

TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST

When people say 'to be perfectly honest..' its like there trying not to hurt your feelings by saying whats on their mind. Trust me boo boo i am not made of butter i will not melt, and frankly if you need to say to that for me to actually believe the next words that come from your mouth, then you must a cronological lier. Hummm, and how could u be unperfectcally honest, there is no perfect way to be honest people. Honesty is a luxury nowa days and nobody cares if u lie to them or not because they probaby have lied to you too. Heres a cookie. Enjoy.



BREAK A LEG

Since when should, wishing for someone to "break a leg" make them feel better and give them the courage to do better. For example, somebody is about to go on stage for the debute of their lives, their nerves are jumping out the window, they need words of comfort to calm them down, and instead of a pat on the back "good luck" and a smile and a hug, your ass says "break a leg". Bitch if you ever wished me to break a leg, ill fucking break your face. What do u mean by that anyways. Do i look like a pro wrestler, if all im doing is presenting a project, and you tell me to break a leg, what kind of person are you. You violent monsters arent worth anything. People like you grow up and become leaders of gangs. "Break a leg" blah blah blah, that makes no sense!? If your going to feed me nonsense in a time for which i need assistance to pull my act together, atleast feed me positive nonsense like, "stop world hunger", not "break a leg". Because that would be so unecessary, if i just bust out into a leg breaking rage while im on stage nervous as fuck.