Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth....When you are sad--I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad....When you are blue--I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you....When you smile--I will know you finally got laid....When you are scared--I will rag on you about it every chance I get....When you are worried--I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining....When you are confused--I will use little words....When you are sick--Stay the hell away from me until you are well again....I don't want whatever you have....When you fall--I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.... This is my oath....I pledge it to the end.