more words for our enjoyment.
woot--expression of joy and excitement
metawork--trivial or unnecessary work done to avoid having to perform the real task at hand while simultaneously taking the credit for it...like in group projects
hobosexual--opposite of metrosexual. one who cares little for their appearance
pornfolio--mass of porn one has stored on their computer generally in a separate folder
fire hazard--a man who is utterly in denial of his homosexuality despite the fact hi is clearly gay to objective observers
"Hey, Jim, Jessica's fire hazard of a husband was checking out your ass again."
fake take--pretending to enter and store someone's number in your phone
narsty--something nasty that's actually kind of cool
"my seeds are with their mom"
fearorism--government manipulation of the public's fear of terrorism. This tends to be done in order to gloss over embarrassment or to push otherwise unpopular bills through the system.
eleventy billion--made up number Keanu Reeves (played by Tobey Maguire) used in an SNL skit (about a jeopardy game):
Keanu: I bet eleventy billion dollars.
Trebek: That's not even a real number.
lawyer ball: the art of playing the rules instead of playing a game.
there's this guy always coming onto yahoo begging me for a 'private' salute. he seemed nice enough when i gave him my yahoo id. now, he's just annoying. he'll trade, he says. somehow i dont think it will be a fair trade at all. he really gets on my nerves. i decline everytime. he never gets the hint.
today, he asked what i am interviewing for.
i said a pillowfluffer.
he says, i'll take the job but i'm a handful.
(was i offering said job? no.)
handful, how? i ask
i am an active person and i need lots of blowjobs, he says. ( i sense an opening here...)
um, you don't need lots of blowjobs. you want them. and if i hire you it's my game. i'm the boss.
you're not going to get a real guy if that's what you want. i just like to get head and fuck you til you can't move.
so, that means you won't lick your own cum off my feet? cuz that's part of the job requirement.
woot! he has left the building. hopefully never to return.
1. very, totally
2. lots of. short for "hell of a lot of."
"that party was hella sketch."
"there was hella weed tho"
the sensation one gets while hearing a dramatic climax in music
(does this count if you're masturbating in the car?)
a famous stupid person i.e. paris hilton
fake, silicone, saline or otherwise augmented breasts
"are those original equipment or did she have airbags installed after market?"
the phone number a person expects friends and family to use
i'm such a dork. i bought the page a day 2009 urban dictionary calendar. from time to time, i will post interesting words and definitions. we will have a sesame street-esque word of the day type of blog. use the day's word in a sentence if you will or poke fun at the retarded nature of said calendar.
since most of us will be either celebrating on new year's day or hungover, i decided to post the 1st word and definition today. have fun.
the ever-evolving bastardization of the written and spoken language as a result of social and cultural idolization of celebrities.
example: Aw, snap, son. Check out the fine-ass sho-tee rockin' all dat ice.
translation: Hello, my good sir. Take a gander at the beautiful woman wearing the expensive jewels.
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