so shit went down was too much tried to kill my self stupid move went to the hospital then moved to california to make a new life for myself. now i'm living here just living and taking care of my little boy. i think alot about life and how things turn out and i just can never understand why some things that i thought were so good and pure never were and how i ran from the good things in my life in terror. man i've screwed up my life time and time again. but no more i'm finally making something of myself. i'm going to make my dreams come true. i have this burning drive inside me that threatens to burst my chesst open. i know what i want it's what i allways wanted. i want my husband and children to live a long happy and peaceful life. i want to be BIG in my carrer and i want to die and old lady in the arms of the man i love. i also know what i need to do to make this happen. but for right now it's just time to wait. to wait for that prince charming to come into my life. and to stop letting myself be lowered to go out with all those loosers that i've had in my past. but as i wait it's time for me to work on my self to be a better mother to my little boy and to keep going to to coledge and build my carrer. also i must find myself and who i am. as i'm doing this i find that alot of who i am is wrapped around my son. i love that little boy with every thing i have in me. there's nothing i won't do or haven/t done for that boy and as he grows i can't help but be insainly proud of him. he's just so specaial to me and has taught me so much about life that i never knew before.
