PART 1
I have been sitting here trying to figure out how to write this for the last couple of hours, even been trying to figure out a name for this blog. Well I guess a title is about finding oneself after a marriage. I am not here to bash woman, because of the wrong doing of one. Everyone has there point of view on their own life and how the outcomes became to be. I guess that since I am a guy it is assumed that I am the one in a marriage that did wrong, and that all guys are the same. This is not true; I am writing this to document my journey from a happy married man, to having the rug pulled out from under me, or being taken out at the knees! By all means you can pick any verbage you would like to explain what happened, but I can tell you now that if a guy did what I was a victim of, I would be called a dog, and this that and another and all guys would be branded.
Let me ask everyone a question here; does anyone understand the difference between a relationship and a marriage? I think that difference of the two is the level of commitment from both partners. But when in a marriage does it stop becoming a union of one to a relationship of two people.
I was raised to place the woman of my heart on top of the world, to make sure she is provided for mentally, emotionally and physically. To be that man that can love and spoil, to make that woman feel special. So what do you do when it all goes wrong, when you get blamed for their short comings? I can tell you what not to do, and that is not to fall in love. I know that it is the thing to do so you can feel like you are needed, wanted to feel like you belong to something special when I reality it is nothing special at all. Now, do not get me wrong I did love being married I am not going to lie about that, I enjoyed the family that I have begun. But my question is what happened to the marriage? Is it the people in it, how can two people so right turn out to so wrong for each other? I know over time that people change but shouldn’t the marriage change also to reflect the changes in the spouses, sure! But what if one of the spouses refuses to change and that in their world they never did anything wrong and that all the blame is placed on the other. Is that fair for the marriage or is that just life in general? I read and hear from woman all the time that they are looking for a good man, and I hear it from guys that they are looking for a good woman. With that thought I have a couple of question, and I can put some money on them that at least once one of the other groups thinks that they are perfect and that there is no reason for change, so here is those questions:
-Why are woman/men so convinced that women/men are evil?
-Why are woman/men so convinced that all women/men are the same?
-Why do women/men refuse to change to make a marriage work?
-Why do women/men look for a release outside of a marriage with the assumed or self realized thoughts that it will make everything better?
-Why do women/men cheat on assumed traits that their spouse have and show on a daily basis?
I know that there are many more questions I can asked but I think that for now these are very basic ones that should be asked? Now understand that I can tell you all my story on the surprised and odd ending with my own marriage but I think the voices and thought of the people that read this I can begin to understand not just one side but both sides of this story. So please stand by for part two, so not just me but us all can get in and understand why it is so easy to say the “D” word in these times, and not willing to stick to something that have benefits for both parties to live a life that is not just outstanding but something that can be seen as an example of something that can last forever.
Please leave comments not just for me, but for everyone that reads this.
