The Queen of Evil Dreamgirlz's blog: "Undeniable Truth"

Apparently there was a shooting at my brother's school today. I just found out about it through my step dad who saw it on the news. The scariest part is that I was picking him up no more than 5 minutes before it happened.... I don't have much info yet but when I find out I'll post more. There is supposed to be word on it on the 5 o clock news here... *An Update: "Police have confirmed that a 9th grade student is dead following a shooting at Palo Verde High School. The shooting happened just as school was let out for the day. According to police, a car carrying a group of teens, heading east on Alta, fired several shots into a group of students, fatally wounding the 9th grader."

Well, most everyone. I have always despised this stupid holiday with a passion. It makes me want to just smack everyone I see. Especially when it's all around. I went to go visit my ex today to get some stuff out of the apartment. He says: "I would have gotten you something but... I don't know how appropriate it would've been..." Ok. First of all, even when we were together, or rather when I was with someone, I never got anything. So what the fuck difference does it make whether or not he "would have" gotten me anything. I do agree it probably might have been inappropriate but still. Does he have to say it? Driving home was a fuckin' wreck too. Everyone with their stupid balloons in the back of their car that they cannot see behind and almost crash into me. Not to mention the wind is atrocious. I swear if I were any thinner I'd blow away in it. Yesterday the winds got up to 65 mph! WTF! That's the strongest in this city's history. I wish I would have been around to laugh at all the power outages on the strip. But nope. Don't live close enough anymore... which isn't necessarily a bad thing... God I can't wait to get the fuck out of Vegas and start settling in in Gainesville... blah...

So, the Globetrotters were at the Orleans arena tonite. It was HILARIOUS!!! Brightened my mood up right away. Plus it was a bonus to see my brother excited about something after lord knows how long... My mom had fun too. I think I'm getting a cold. That's the only sucky part of my evening tonite. It is seriously cold out here in Vegas and the wind chill doesn't help it any...ah so... only have to put up with it for a few more months. My goal date for moving to Florida is April 1, 2008. So... yay. If the Globetrotters ever come to your area seriously check it out... You'll be happy you did!

ok. appearantly I'm going to see the globetrotters with my mom and brother. totally random but should be interesting. I'm slightly pissed that I lost the necklace I got at the museum of natural history in gainesville... but whatever. I'll be back up there soon enough and I'll get a new one... blah. gotta go yell at my brother to do his homework now...

So I've been having a rather difficult day. No it has nothing to do with Valentines Day. (I don't celebrate it, and never have). I went to the hospital to go pick up my medical records for the pending lawsuit I have going against my former employer. I guess going back to that hospital gave me chills and brought back a lot of unpleasant memories... That and I had to drive by my old apartment which also made me kind of sad. I guess one has to grieve the loss of something old in order to be open to experience something new. I got my hair touched up black and thinned out and layered a bit so it actually doesn't look like I ran my hair through a washing machine one too many times. This I suppose is a good thing. It feels weird though. I'm not used to the cut yet. I am supposed to go tomorrow and visit my ex and move some more of my stuff out and to my mom's. I have been feeling really queasy lately and I think it's due to all the stress I'm under. I just hope he doesn't try to pull on my heart strings due to the dreaded Valentines Day thing. I have a feeling he might, but we'll see. Ok. Enough bitching for me... I'm out...

Yea, I'm out of my lease at my old apartment. It's been kind of difficult on me, seeing as how everything in my life is sort of up in the air. I have no clue what's going to happen other than that I am going to school and hopefully volunteering at the museum of natural history in Florida. Me and my ex-fiance are still really close and it kinda sucks that things had to end as they did, but cest la vie. Guess it was just not meant to be. It's a bittersweet good bye and hopefully my future will contain bigger and better things.

So today I had the first shoot I've done in nearly 4 months. Thanks to Travis Sackett I now have some hella awesome new images! I also need to add that some of the pics were designed for and inspired by Xavier Acorea <3. Much adoration. Hope ya like em'! Oh! And be sure to check out Xavier Acorea on here. He's #1 on my friends list and goes by the name Treazon. And for the love of god or whatever, don't be a dumbass when leaving me or him comments. Be respectful...

yea. stupid fucking computer. It keeps shutting down on me. Xavier likes to tease me about it constantly. Anything to make him laugh, but it isn't really funny. lol. I hate it how I'll be right in the middle of doing something and my internet will putz out on me, or my computer will freeze up. grr... ah so... cest la vie, at least I have one, right? Oh and just FYI, Disgaea is the best game for ps2...EVER!!!!

So I'm not used to the whole being happy thing. I usually in former days would take stress and internalize it, directing my anger improperly towards myself until it got to the point where things seemed unbareable and then I'd lash out. For some odd reason unbeknownst to me, I have not been as vulnerable as I once was. I have gained a strength that I am pleasantly surprised to have. Perhaps it is age. Perhaps experience. Perhaps it is the fact that the most beautiful man I've ever known still cares for me as I do him. Perhaps not as strongly, but there nonetheless. Whatever it is, I'm thankful now more than ever before. For friends, family and all the support.