Mr Showerhead's blog: "???"

There's a few things I've come to accept the past few years in my life. One of them being I'll always be the guy on the side. In the last five or six yrs, every woman I've been with has either had a boyfriend, or a husband. And honestly, at first I didnt mind, I figured every girlfriend I've ever had cheated on me, so this was just Karma's way of evening things out, right? Well it's gotten to the point where I'm getting tired of being good enough to be the guy on the side, but not good enough to be THE guy. 

 I've had plenty of these women tell me "If I were single, I'd date you in a heartbeat." Well yesterday I saw one of these girls that I used to occasionally mess around with, I've been getting the whole "I really miss you" and the "We REALLY need to get together soon" from her for a few weeks, so I figured what the hell? She tells me she's been single since December. Well the day is going by as usual, we're watching movies, joking around, taking some pix, stuff we normally do. Then out of nowhere she turns to me and says "I really don't see the point in us doing anything" I wasn't sure what she meant, so I had asked what exactly she meant by it, and I get "Well, you know, anything physical, like kissing or anything. I don't have a boyfriend so there's no thrill in kissing you at the moment."

My self esteem is low enough as it is already, and I dont understand how you say something like that to someone? Especially someone you claim to care about? I mean she was just reconfirming what I knew all along.

So now, when the next woman comes into my life, and I find out she has a boyfriend, or husband (They always do) do I ask her not to fill my head with the same bullshit the others have, or just say to hell with it, and go with it because I know I'm not going to get any kind of a real relationship out of anyone anyways?