well here i am,no vasaline and getting fked again.im the type of person that dont trust others very much,guess its part of the job that always makes you leary of others,sort of a self defence mechanism.well once or twice in a life time someone brieches that line of self defence,at first the defences go up but somehow they wiggle througgh the barrier and before you know it youve intrusted them completely.
when you finally resolve to give in and trust this person,they become a part of you,a part of your being,a part of your person.
when it becomes strong enough,they become a part of your inner person and you become totally vulnerable.there comes a time that you will test this trust and if they pass,you have that person for life.when they fail,it can destroy your life or you go back into your defence mode and you end up passing up future friends that may of passed the test had they been given the chance.the problem is,they dont get that chance becouse youve been betrayed and wont let them past that defence shield.then you find yourself alone again.and if the trust that was betrayed had contaminated your heart,you find yourelf destroyed.
now im not saying not to trust anyone and for most people maybe its not as dangerouse to tust as it is for me.i envey those who can be betrayed and still forgive.i wish i could be that way.if trust is brieched i cannot just forgive,i cannt have that person in my life once that trust is betrayed.
im a strange combination i guess,ill do anything for anyone,i love to help others .
,but theres that trust you develop only a couple of times in yor life,and when that is gone......
you become hard and that door becomes sealed,never to be reopened again.
just another one of my ramblings folks,sorry,i usually try to put blogs up that have meaning for all.this one was just me paddlin my own ass for going against my nature,have a great day and a greater one tomarrow!im outta here.
