Have you held someone to make them feel better and/or had someone hold you to make you feel better an you only felt empty inside? You scream for comfort but because of certain things you choose to stay neutral. To continue to do what you have in the past.To guard. To Protect.The more you want things to change the more cold and distant you grow. Damned if you do , damned if you don't. So what do you do? You choose the one that others happiness comes first. You remember that the life of a guardian angel is a lonely one. You start doing things to help you keep that distant. Wearing sunglasses to cover your eyes. Stop looking people in the eyes for the eyes are the windows to the soul. You bottle things up more an more. You start pulling away from those who have been there for you in the past. You continue to be there for them, just now you do it from the shadows. appearing when needed an disappearing when finished. People talk about a thing called "Love". Tell me this.? When was the last time you truly felt it or was shown it? Hmmmmm? Stop and think about it. I guess you are now at a point in your life were you feel so dead inside that you do certain things to remind yourself that you are amongst the living. No matter how much pain you feel on the inside, you fight to keep your composure to show nothing on the outside just so you do not have to deal with certain things. Is it a good thing? Could it hinder future events? Will it push away crucial people away? With this knowledge do you continue to show nothing? Continue to be cold and distant? Well if others get happiness out of it, then the lost of potential life for you is a sacrifice that you know you will do. How many have you done thru your existence? How many more will you do? How much are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of others? How much have you ever received in turn? But does it really matter what you get in return? You give so much, an ask for so little. After being torn apart by your own demons,an with out taking time to heal your wounds, you are willing to take on the demons of others. Why do you do this? You do this to make other's lives better. an you live vicariously thru others. An every day you think is this the day karma will reward you.Has it really fully rewarded you? Prolly not. Normally it gives you a taste to remind you it is waiting to reward you in full all at once. So for now you continue on your path. Fate. Hmmmph. Such an interesting thing, huh?
Signed, Forever
The Crow
Wrote May 28, 2007
