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Havok's blog: "True stories"

created on 01/24/2008  |  http://fubar.com/true-stories/b181401

First true story (cheesy)

Time seemed to move so slowly, once you told me that you it was time to move on. Nights became longer, and evenings became empty, and morning just brought forth another repeat. Day in and day out, the only thing on my mind was you. The phone never made a sound anymore. No more texts, or calls. No cute picture messages to look forward to. Reality became to set in. What had been once taken for granted, now felt like a necessity. The more I sat alone, the more you came to mind. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the phone finally vibrated. You actually wanted to meet up for a while. The plan was to pick you up and hang out for a little while, hopefully to talk about things. I didn’t really have a whole lot to say that wasn’t going to sound repetitive, but that’s how I am. That’s probably why you felt like you needed a change of pace. I wasn’t going to argue with your reasons for wanting to hang out, I was just going to be excited to see you again. It had felt like forever, and it had only been a few weeks. Seeing you walk up to the car door, brought an instant wave of emotions, that I was trying my hardest to fight. I didn’t want you to know that I was dying inside, or that every thought in my head all pointed to wanting to just lean over and wrap my arms around you. Not letting go until the sun came up again. Of course, I couldn’t. I knew you wouldn’t allow it. The air was frigid, and at first it matched your demeanor. Cold, precise answers to the small talk questions I was having such a hard time formulating. I wanted to know so much, but didn’t want to appear too pushy for information. I wanted you to be the way you were, when things weren’t so akward. The less that you spoke, the faster my heart raced. The blood sped through my veins and my thoughts danced from silly, to sane wondering what I had got myself into. Not months prior, I would have sworn that you’d have given anything to be where we were now, and I couldn’t grasp what could change so quickly. “Can I at least get a hug?” I asked, hoping that the contact and up front intentions may possibly ease the tension that seemed thicker than steel. “Not while you are driving.” Was better than the response I had assumed that I would get. I looked around for an open area, and after a short drive we came across an open spot. I felt kind of dumb, but I just couldn’t wait any longer. I pulled over, and walked around to your side of the car. I wasn’t sure if it was your shoes, or the way the ground was sloped, but you seemed so much taller than normal. We stood almost face to face, and every bone in my body ached to kiss you. To kiss you the way that I had always done it before. I was scared of the passion. It burned in my heart and chest so hot, I didn’t need my jacket in the snowy parking lot that night. My arms wrapped around you and felt at home. I felt relaxed and felt a peace that I hadn’t remembered feeling in a very long time. The hug was short, or maybe it only felt that way, because heaven can only last so long right? Getting back in the car, the rest of the drive seemed less tense. Maybe the hug did ease a little tension, and maybe it was just the euphoria I had from finally having you in my arms again. There wasn’t really any progress with any conversation, but I felt comfortable enough to drive with my hand on your leg, feeling as though it should have never left there. Getting back to your place, I turned around so that your door was in front of the house. My stomach burned to see you go so shortly, but I couldn’t keep you. It wasn’t the right time you had told me before. Maybe it just wasn’t right in general. I guess it wasn’t for me to decide. Not now, not then. You had told me that if it was meant to be then maybe someday it will happen. I’m not a gambling man, but I knew the odds were against me. I knew that may just be the last time I would ever be in that situation alone with you again. So, I had to take my shot. I brought my hand to your chin and turned your head towards me, and leaned in for a kiss. I expected you to pull away, but for some odd reason you didn’t. Our lips touched and it sent shivers down my spine, that I hadn’t felt since our first kiss. I didn’t want it to stop there, I wanted it to last forever. The kiss was long and passionate, one that will be forever etched in my memory. As will the first few steps you took away from the car into the darkness fading away… in more ways than one.
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