Wow...this is my first blog attmept...weird. I'm used to writing in a jornal (or as I like to still call it my diary), but never on a blog. Eh, I'm bored might as well....
It all started when I saw an old couple today...and they were walking hand 'n hand. Window shopping it seemed. The old man must've said something sarcastic to the woman because she laughed, 1/2 scolding she shook her head at him, and patted his wrinkley worn hand as they continued on their adventure, arm in arm.
I just watched them...wondering what their story was...were they highschool sweethearts...never knowing they would make it this far together? Or were they old lovers recently reunited, and the spark and love still there? They just seemed very content to be in each others company after so many years (I assume) together.
I found myself being envious of what they have, what I believe very few people in our generation will be able to fine let alone keep. In this day and age where divorce is as common as a cold...makes you wonder if "true love" really exists. If one can really can find it's other half, its "soul mate" and have that love unchanged through the test of time.
The dictionary states that the definition of a soul mate is: someone for whom you have a deep affinity. Yet the meaning is sooo much deeper than that. To me, it means to finally have found a place in this brutal world where you know you'll always be safe. Safe from pain, safe from lonliness, and most importantly safe from yourself.
What is it about humans, that we have a void in our life that screams to be filled with companionship? To not be left in the darkness of our own prision we had built ourselves...our life? I look at my own life...I have plenty of good friends for companions, I have my son who is my world...yet there still is a part of me that doesn't feel whole, that there is a level of intimacy I desperately need, desperately yearn for. I'm not talking about the intimacy that any man and woman can experience together, but true intimacy that reachest the highest level of love. Where you can just lay next to each other...hearing the intake of the breath and no words need to be spoken because you have that sense of belonging, a sense of...home.
Does this really exists? Or is it just a fairytale? Just false hope to keep going, to keep pushing onward when all seems bleak. To have something to believe in when the stark reality of life gets to be unbearable.... I do believe that life is based on hope....hope to succeed, hope for a better future, hope that there is a place after we leave here--that our lives dont just stop, and hope to one day find that person that we feel completes us. Hope to find them against all odds.
However, maybe true love and soul mates really do exists in this world. Maybe through bad experiences with past relationships which can leave one bitter, we had missed that small window, that one chance encounter with the one that would've changed us forever. Maybe it takes many of different life times to achieve finding that person, only to lose them eventually and have the search begin again.
Okay...yes I'm a hopeless romantic, wanting to believe that out there is someone for everyone if you just open your eyes to the possibility...but who really knows, it could just be a cruel and unfair goal for most....
Just to think that this rant all started because of a couple of wrinkly hands holding on to each other.
