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"True" Friendship Enough of that Sissy Crap! Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems That always sound good, But never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises That actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy Little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth Of our great friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will Help you get drunk and plot revenge Against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will Try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will Know you are plotting something That I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will Rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will Tell you horrible stories about How much worse it could be, Until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will Use little words. 7. When you are sick -- I will Tell you to stay the hell away from me Until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will Point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask. "Because you're my friend!" Friendship is like Peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, But only you can Feel the true warmth. Send this to 10 Of your closest friends, Then get depressed Because you can only think of 4.