Dynimite's blog: "Tips about Realationships"

>NOTE: You can learn every single aspect of success with women and dating plus read the story of how I went from not even being able to TALK to women... all the way to dating models, dancers, actresses, and many other types of amazing women... right here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/Catalog/ ***SUCCESS STORY*** Dave- What's up buddy? Once again you have done it. The C & F routine works like a charm. I've been getting your newsletters for a while now and all of the advice has been great. I've been meaning to get the book, but I'm a poor-ass college student (any contributions out there to my book fund?) ...I'll eventually pick it up in a game of pool sharking or something... Anyway...one success story here... I went out with my friend a couple nights ago (easily a 9), and I've known her since HS. When we got to the club, I POURED ON the C & F. At one point in her conversation, she told me she was out of smokes. Now, instead of doing the "wussy" thing, which would be to go buy her another pack, I said "There are plenty of girls in here who will give me some" (That works on so many levels). So, I left the table and went up to five different girls and got two cigarettes from each (one for now, one for the road). Nonetheless, my friend was set aback by the whole thing, and said that she didn't know I was such a ladies man. I said something like "Just giving the public what it wants". She started to get so competitive with me, that she decided that she needed to get some random guy's number (maybe for self confidence issues, whatever...). So, while she was doing that, I decided to step it up a notch. While she was taking the time to get one number, I proceeded to get THREE numbers from three different girls, using the C & F routine (hot damn, it works!). She came back to me, and without saying anything, showed me the number. I countered and showed my three numbers. Nonetheless, at this point she was so crazy jealous over me, that we ended the night @ my place. sweet... One last comment... Dave, you talked about Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in your one of your emails...and it got me to thinking of different examples of C & F. I found the PERFECT one the other day. Tom Cruise in the movie Top Gun. If you haven't seen it in like 10 years like I had, rent it again...NO --- BUY IT! It is the perfect example of what to do. He's cocky and funny (obviously). Look at the scene in the bar when he first meets the girl. Seemed like he "crashed and burned" until he went into the ladies room and approached the girl. Also, he is the master of ANTICIPATION. How many times did he leave the girl hanging in the movie? Like 5 times??? Excellent. It works. Now, we may all not look like Tom Cruise or fly a F-14 or whatever, but I guarantee you that if a lesser looking man would be cast in that role, all the women would be screaming in ecstasy the same way...since the C&F is there. Thanks Dave - take it easy bro. D from CO >>>MY COMMENTS: NICE! You have demonstrated an understanding of the PRINCIPLES that are involved with this whole "psychology of women and dating", and for that you get a gold star. * You like it? This is what you call "all good all the time", and it shows how you took the situation that was in front of you, and used the resources around you to dial up the sexual tension. Yes, I actually mention the bathroom scene in Top Gun as an example of being Cocky and Funny. It's an interesting scene, because to the uninitiated, he comes across as not doing well. Of course, if you understand the dynamics behind sexual attraction, you understand that by keeping his cool and boldly going where no man has gone before (into the lady's room after her) he comes across very powerfully. I think your quote of "Just giving the public what it wants" might be one of my favorites of all time. I may well steal it and take credit for thinking it up on my own, I like it so much. Would you accept a small royalty on it for each use? Love it! ***SUCCESS STORY*** Dave, I must admit, I knew this stuff would work, but I had no idea how well. I am a 37 yo divorced man, a little unsure around hot women, always have been funny, needed the cocky. I wasn't getting a lot of attention until Saturday night. I was eating supper at a very nice hotel bar, when a very classy, very hot lady sat next to me. I was reading the paper and she asked if she could see some of it. I looked at her sort of reluctantly and said, "Well, I'm done with the sports section, but you have to give it back." Then I turned away and continued reading. She tried twice to start a conversation, to which I responded shortly. Then I turned on the C/F thing full bore! Within 10 minutes she was touching my leg, and telling me all about her life! She literally was eating off of my plate! I asked her what I was going to get in return for the food she ate, and she turned beet red. I told her she couldn't back away, she had already eaten it! To wrap up, we went to listen to some live music, she asked me what I wanted to do, I told her, and we spent the rest of the night, at her place, doing those very things! Dave, she was WAY out of my league, I mean a high priestess in the shrine of fine! This was a night for the archives, and I have to give you credit! TW in NC >>>MY COMMENTS: A HIGH PRIESTESS IN THE SHRINE OF FINE! Take me to church my man and preach me the gospel. You have provided a PERFECT TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE (my textbook, of course) of how to use Cocky and Funny with a woman you've just met. Here are a couple of high points for me: 1) When she first sat down, you basically paid no attention to her at all, and in fact, you gave her a little bit of a hard time by only giving her a little of your paper and telling her that you want it back. This is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what every other guy she meets does, and I'm sure that it set you apart instantly as a man who ISN'T NEEDY. 2) Only after she tried to make casual conversation TWICE with you did you proceed. This creates a great position for you, because she's now subtly pursuing you, and if she starts being sassy about you teasing her, you can always say "Hey, I was just sitting here minding my own business and you keep trying to talk to me" in a sarcastic tone. The magic of a line like this, by the way, is that it's MOSTLY TRUE, and it's also VERY FUNNY. 3) Only after she "succeeded in getting you to talk to her" did you progress into the Cocky and Funny... and it was a situation that lends itself to "conversation". Nice. 4) You made a nice, yet subtle move when you asked her what you were going to get in return for the food she ate... This works so well because she obviously ate a small amount off of your plate, so it's ridiculous to assume that she actually owes you anything. The comment is powerful because it is FUNNY as well as SUGGESTIVE. You're another hero of mine. I'm going to get a shirt made with a picture of you on it - if that's OK. ***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN*** Hi Dave, Since you always seem to be tickled pink about getting responses from women I thought I'd drop you a line. I've gotta confess that I have been reading your mailbag-emails for about a month now and think most of your "research" is really quite amazing. You've nailed a lot of stuff and I've really enjoyed reading about it. Some of it I read and to think, to quote someone else, "DAMN, that's what he was trying to do." It cracks me up to know what guys are up to, it's so cute to know that they're trying. Still other parts of it I read and wonder how some people cannot grasp or understand the concepts... maybe some of it comes naturally to me. I mean, who doesn't like to be teased, flirted with and stimulated? The c&f routine works just as well for me as guys I think because so many guys (at least the ones I know) expect women to be flattered and taken by surprise when they spring the c&f routine on them. When I started countering them with my own version, we would end up having a blast. We would end up talking for hours, laughing and discussing anything and everything under the sun - it was exciting, intelligent, and just plain fun talk. I remember one newsletter where you said your techniques are for "picking girls up"... but you didn't specialize in longer lasting relationships. I started thinking... maybe when you can BOTH create the kind of attraction you're teaching, the result is not just a couple dates but a great (longer lasting) relationship. The guy c&f routine seems incredibly one-sided to me... yes it gets you guys hot dates and sex and whatever you're looking for lol, but don't you eventually get bored with women simply laughing at your jokes without being able to keep up the banter themselves? I know I would. I was just curious what you or other guys had to say about this. Meanwhile, keep up the great "counseling"... a lot of guys I know have benefited from your advice and have become a lot more fun to hang out with! You rock ;) A fan, A. >>>MY COMMENTS: Oh, it's humbling to me when a smart person writes in and says something better than I could say it... ESPECIALLY when it's from a woman who is sharp, articulate, and obviously loves my stuff. The thing that really struck me about your email here is that you said "It cracks me up to know what guys are up to, it's so cute to know that they're trying." You totally get what's going on, and in fact, you see this situation for what it is... guys learning how to be more attractive to women so that women will actually feel more attracted to them. And it is charming in its own way. And you understand how much more FUN it is to be around a guy who: 1) Isn't a totally WUSSY. 2) Has a sense of humor. 3) Knows how to keep things interesting by being unpredictable, charming and slightly too big for his britches. And you've pointed out something that's been hard for me to put into words, but now I have it... If a woman isn't sharp enough, funny enough or together enough emotionally to deal with a man who's being Cocky and Funny, then she's probably not going to be very interesting in a long term relationship either. My personal experience is that women who CAN'T sense what's really going on or who get upset and take things too personally, often have major issues and can't relate very well at more intimate levels either. And why would you want to be with a woman who can't keep up with you for the LONG term? Thanks for the great email. ..and how many times do I have to say this... if you're a sharp, attractive woman you MUST SEND PICTURES WITH YOUR EMAILS TO ME... One each in casual, formal, and bathing attire, from three main angles, plus profile shots. Also include daytime phone number as well as email address. Nice. ***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN*** Aloha David, Okay i am a women and well i love receiving your news letter. It not only helps men but it helps women too. See i am 21 and i never went to college instead i started a business and it is very successful on this little lava rock i live on. I own a car shop and a drag strip. Weird isn't it women doing that sort of thing. Well anyway i have always been a tom boy. My guy friends call me a man in womens body. The weird thing is God gave me to a womanly body. Try like a 36-24-36... Well anyway in high school i dressed like a complete boy i never wore a dress unless it was prom. I never wore make up unless i had to do a show or if it was prom. I was on my high school football team. Well now i dress more womanly i still don't wear make up. But i still hang out with yuh know the boys. Now i would say that 90% of my friends are guys. Because i love sports, i am not emotional, i don't cry, i love to camp, and well i drink beer and i love it. Well all my guy friends have suddenly gone mushy on me and i didn't think of it as anything in the beginning when they would ask me to go out to dinner. But now most of them are like how can i say this... in love with me... most of them have told me that they love me and i am like the dream girl... blah blah... but now my question is... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?????... i want them as my friends not as lovers... i am not ready for that... they know i have been engaged before and that he hurt me really bad. But is there anyway i can let them down nicely without hurting our friendship... because i love them just in a brotherly way... Thanks man... L, Hawaii >>>MY COMMENTS: Yes, I have a PERFECT idea. I think that you need to tell them that you are already involved with a guy, and that he's very charming and lives in California. I will agree, as part of this arrangement, to have you fly me to Hawaii quarterly to "pose" as your boyfriend and demonstrate that you are, in fact, involved. I will stay for one week, be seen with you at all the Island Hot Spots, and allow you to purchase dinner and entertainment for us (plus pay me a small, nominal fee for my "services"). I don't usually like to get involved with women who are 21 and have athletic "womanly 36-24-36" bodies, but in your case I will make an exception this ONE TIME... because you are in such a time of need. ...OK, the reason that I've included your email is because... IT ROCKS! ...Oh, and because I wanted to point something out about how guys behave, and how women see it. Most women intuitively know that every single one of their guy "friends" would jump in the sack with them with 3 seconds notice. In fact, most attractive women believe that EVERY GUY THAT EVEN TALKS TO THEM WANTS THEM, and that any guy who they've even SPOKEN WITH would get in bed with them if the opportunity was there. "Cool" women like yourself, who have several cool guy friends and are successful, independent and attractive, have so much opportunity that it ACTUALLY GOES FROM BEING FLATTERING TO BEING OUTRIGHT ANNOYING. For you there really isn't an easy answer. You're just going to either have to invite me out there to pose as your man or learn how to cope with "guy friend puppydogitis" (You should invite me, it would be so much easier). But for any guy who doesn't realize this, it's a big lesson. Remember that most women think you want them. So don't act like you want them at the very beginning. Lean back, give her space, and use the techniques you're learning from me to amplify the attraction and tension so she is OVERCOME with the emotions that lead to you and her getting together. Don't be another "guy friend" who's "fallen for her". ***QUESTION*** Hey Dave, Success story: I spend alot of time at a specific beach bar, somewhere in the Mediterranean, and I've had very satisfying results following this: I bust on the waitresses and attractive female bar tenders, but never ask for their info. I keep going hot/cold on them. Example: I promise (jokingly) that I will never forget her all my life if she fixes me the PERFECT drink, and, of course the drink is never good enough and forget them at once. Then when they say hi, I go: Who are you, anyway? can't a man have a peaceful moment sitting at the bar without a girl coming over...etc. So, having this C&f interaction with the staff, REALLY helps when I talk to other girls I meet on the spot, who sense t hat the staff is already attracted, and try harder for my attention. This has worked fine. Question: (well more than one) 1. Sometimes girls seem to get genuinely upset when I am aloof and indifferent. They talk sourly when I (finally) address them, and ask "what do you want from me?" 2. What about calling her the day after sex? They also seem totally pissed off if I don't call/talk/SMS them the day after. they seem particularly sensitive about that. Any comments? 3. I know that you prefer email to direct phone calls. Well, not many people have email over here. Every body has mobile phones though. Does SMS do the same as email? I personally have not concluded which works better, phone call (to a mobile phone) or SMS Any comments on the above would be GREATLY appreciated. MC >>>MY COMMENTS: I love your examples of Cocky and Funny. Very nice. To answer your questions... Yes, in the real world, sometimes a woman will get upset because you're indifferent, or because you make fun and bust on her... it happens. It's sooo hard for men to see that some women just aren't going to be right for them, and that some women aren't fun or interesting. Just because a woman is attractive doesn't mean that she's also sweet, kind, loving, stable, etc. Men tend to instantly assume that attractive women are more honest, more friendly, more trustworthy, etc. JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE. And it just isn't so. You will have to strike your own personal balance in regards to how you act towards women, and you'll have to learn for yourself which signs to watch out for. I personally have no time for a woman who can't deal with a little teasing or who gets upset because she's not the center of attention and being courted like a princess. I laugh if a woman gets upset by one of my jokes... IT'S VERY FUNNY! I just say "lighten up, a bad attitude isn't attractive". As for your other two questions, I'm just not sure. Test. I will say that if you don't talk to a woman the day or so after sex (whether she calls you or you call her) she'll usually assume that you aren't interested in anything more and will probably have a higher chance of resenting you if you call again later... because she's more likely in this situation to feel like a "booty call". ***QUESTION*** Dear David, I really congratulate you on the job you are doing with your write ups. I meet a girl in a bus one night, I approached her but our discussion was little, i was able to get her email address, for the next 7 months we've been communicating through the internet. Right now she's inviting me for a date to meet with her again. Pls kindly tell me how to make her like me Thanks and regards, P...from Nigeria >>>MY COMMENTS: WHOA, 7 months? I guess you've taken the "play hard to get" thing to a whole new level. The way to make a woman like you is to: 1) Not act like all the other average guys out there. 2) Make her laugh. 3) Be unpredictable, challenging, and mysterious. ...of course there are more ingredients, but use these for your next meeting. Don't act nervous or uncomfortable. Treat her like you've known her all your life... almost like she's your bratty little sister. Tease her and make her laugh. Have fun. Don't be PREDICTABLE. Do things that surprise her. Say things that keep her wanting to hear more. Tell interesting stories and don't answer her questions directly... instead, make her work for the answers. And enjoy yourself... you sure have waited long enough. ***QUESTION*** Hi, Dave. To start off - your book and method rock. If someone does not believe this - tell them to go and ask attractive women. I have a few questions for about picking up women online. Let's say a man is talking to a woman on icq or msn Instant messenger (a lot more women are using instant messaging systems than dating sites). He's using C&F (otherwise she probably would not talk to him). When is it the right time to ask for the phone number? (I remember you said in one of your newsletters that the faster the better). Because even those you are being C&F, women are still afraid of freaks (and they should be). So what would you suggest - 1st conversation, maybe second, or should I wait for a week (let's assume she is laughing all the time)? Also it is not hard to come up with conversation starters - how would you suggest I should start a conversation? (I'm normally asking some interesting controversial questions, but I could use your advice). All men and women should thank you for the job you do! >>>MY COMMENTS: Interesting, controversial questions are great ways to start conversations online with women. It's also fun to poke fun at their profiles when opening. Your other question, about how to get them to talk to you on the phone, is the interesting one. The answer is actually pretty simple. Don't wait very long to get on the phone. Just like most guys are afraid to ask women for their phone numbers in person, most guys online are too reluctant to take steps to get a woman on the telephone because they're afraid of getting rejected and losing their chances for good. If a woman is having fun chatting with you, just say, "OK, it's time for me to go, but let's talk later like normal people do on the phone... I want to see if you can keep this up live in person." etc. Women will often say "I don't talk to people I meet on the internet". You want to get this as soon as possible, because a lot of women won't talk to you NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. It's better to find out sooner than later. And if she's interested, but not ready for a phone conversation she'll probably say "Let's talk online some more first", etc. Get her on the phone sooner rather than later or you'll wind up wasting a lot of time chatting and little time progressing. I'd also like to mention that the internet is a great place to PRACTICE talking to women. You don't have to meet women that you chat with online... it can just be a fun way to meet new people and practice your humor and conversation skills. ***QUESTION*** Hey Dave ! I`ve met a women that I really adore. She`s one heck of smart, sweet-looking , GREAT chiq ... We met in a restaurant and I managed to secure her e- mail. We have been e-mailing each another for about 4 months now. The problem is that we keep talking about movies, our holidays and... bla bla. I tried asking her phone number casually in the mail but she just bluntly ignored. We do still mail each another but nothing really personal that we talk about. So Dave , what should I do ? How can I get her started on talking about us...or perhaps to go out for a coffee/movie ("date") with this chiq... I sincerely am desperate for her... But ( I`m still on your prescription of NOT being a WHUSS )... Please help, Dave ! rgds, M. >>>MY COMMENTS: Houston, I think we have problem. "WHUSS"? Don't make me try to pronounce that word... I have bad news for you: 1) You don't know how to even spell the word "Wuss", which is short for WUSSY. 2) You are ACTING like this thing that you cannot spell. Look, you couldn't have made yourself into more of a "friend" (as in "I only like you as a") if you tried. I was about to start telling you what to do next time you get a woman's email address, but then I realized that it would probably take me 100 pages just to get the basics out on paper... And then I had an Ah-Ha! "THIS GUY NEEDS TO READ MY BOOK". Duh. OK, you need to go to: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/eBook/ ...as soon as possible and download it. Unless, that is, you enjoy investing 4 MONTHS in email relationships that aren't going anywhere. I know, it's not good news, but you've put about 4 months worth of nails in the coffin, and even I can't help you. Best thing is to learn what to do next time, and make sure you learn how to cure your acute case of WUSS-BAG-ALYSIS. ***QUESTION*** David, I have downloaded your book and it reads great, but it looks to me like your techniques only works with guys who are of average or better looks. Don't get me wrong I don't have terrible scars or weigh 400lbs, but I have faced the fact that I'm not what women find good looking. I've tried buying nice clothes and improving my looks as much as I can, but it doesn't seem to help. What's worse, the fact that nothing has helped has only decreased my self confidence. It seems to me that a cocky attitude would come off as stupid from a guy like me. How can your techniques work for guys who are below average in looks and have self-confidence in the gutter? D in Cincy >>>MY COMMENTS: I have no idea where you got the impression that my techniques only work for guys who are "of average or better looks". Have you read these mailbags for very long? I've had guys who are old, bald, weigh 400 pounds and every other "less than average" thing you can think of, write in to tell their success stories. Your problem is your attitude and the fact that you let your emotions control your mind. Just because a woman doesn't respond to you, or getting new clothes doesn't magically make you successful, is no reason to get bummed out. Here's my personal attitude: I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES, I'M GOING TO GET THIS THING FIGURED OUT. When I started out learning how to meet women, I didn't have the benefit of the knowledge that I have now. I had to figure most of this stuff out from scratch. It took me a few YEARS before I was able to finally say "OK, I know how to meet women." Now, I think that with the benefit of the materials I've put together and these newsletters, etc., most guys can shave a LOT of time off their success curve and can start having SOME level of success almost immediately. Have you gotten online and chatted with women? Have you taken up a hobby where there are naturally more women than men involved? Have you put yourself in situations that lead to you automatically meeting women? And by the way, a "cocky" attitude isn't what you want... You need a Cocky and FUNNY attitude. You need to make women LAUGH. If you can make women laugh, you're most of the way home. Don't accept less than you want out of life. Don't do it. And don't let your emotions permanently change your outlook or stop you from taking action in the future. ***QUESTION*** Hey Dave, First off, I wish I could thank you in person for all the things I've learned from you. You truly are the master and you've shown me the light of my wussy-ways. I've had relative success, being that I've only recently started using your techniques and am still learning; I think I'm getting better at least. But my problem lies in the fact that I'm a naturally, overly silent person. While I don't have any problem approaching a woman, talking to them, and being C&F, I find a lot of holes in my conversation that no matter how well thought out or brief my conversation is, cut in just enough to break things down badly. This has been a problem I've been working with for along time and it's not looking to bright that I'll come out the other end of the tunnel any time soon. I was hoping you could explain how to use body language and general actions other than speech, to increase the attraction and hopefully help with some of the pauses. You truly are the god of this and take pity on this young apprentice. Thanks again, S.D. Virginia >>>MY COMMENTS: No problem. Just make sure that when there IS a silence in the conversation that you DON'T ACT WEIRD ABOUT IT. In fact, it can be great to let there be a silence every once in awhile. When you act totally cool and calm, it puts pressure on her to keep things going. As for body language, you can just turn away and lean back for a few moments. As long as you're not acting nervous, this can create a powerful and magnetic situation. ***SUCCESS STORY*** Sorry it's so long! Lot to tell! Dave, Wanted to share a success story with everyone! Hey, a man has to brag! (Now I can thanks to your techniques!). Went away for a golfing weekend with a mate and met a model who has appeared in magazines. A definite 10 surrounded by 7's. There must have been 10 other guys at the resort vying for her attention, and guess who got her? Why? A number of reasons, and all from your book, and mailbag. I came across as a guy who wanted nothing else from her other than friendship, even telling her I was gay (She knew otherwise because of my other C&F Comments). I would walk away whenever I wanted, even with the competition hanging around her like flies. (It helped that I spoke to everyone, and everyone got to know me, so she was no one special!) Can you believe she started making the moves? And then I let the C&F out, busting her on all her insecurities. I got so many looks of disbelief from those standing around. They couldn't believe I could say what I did! Some even tried to counter me by using wuss comments. Example, she dyes her hair deep red. I just asked how she manages to die her roots brown (Not that I could see them). Her jaw dropped, she hit me, and some wuss pipes up, "Don't worry, I think your hair is beautiful". My reply, "Well some people will settle for second best!". Another Punch (and laugh!) The absolute winner came when we were watching a rugby match on TV in the lounge. She was sitting with her parents, so I pulled up a chair along side them, and as I sat down I immediately jumped up, and said, "Hey, watch the hands!" Giving her a disapproving look! Of course she denied everything, her parents laughed (They loved me because of my attitude, and the fact I wasn't one of the normal wussy men she brought home.) She still doesn't know my age, thinks I make blow- up dolls for a living, but wants to see me again. DESPERATELY. We're seeing each other this weekend again, and she was the one who asked! Incredible! One comment, though! I often read guys asking for what to say in certain situations. I was even going to suggest you put that in your next book. But over the last couple of months I've realized that the C&F routine has to be spontaneous. These guys are asking for pickup lines, and that's not what it's about! Guys, use the examples to get the concept of C&F, not the lines! The examples should be used for the attitude, if you remember the lines, they're going to sound canned! Thanks Dave! Seems like I'm the only one in my country with this info! ;-) GC (South Africa) >>>MY COMMENTS: Oh, you just gotta love asking a model how she "manages to dye the roots of her hair" a different color. That's a classic! Great story, and keep me up to date about what happens. ***SUCCESS STORY*** Hi David I'm a UK reader of your book and emails and was initially skeptical of whether they would work in the UK, since the dating rules are a little different from the US and other parts of the world - trust me I know - I've been in bars in NY where a smart watch, a decent suit and educated conversation (plus a bar bill the size of the gross national debt of Peru) will get you laid in about 20 minutes. In San Fancisco it was even easier, a British accent and basic motor neuron functioning seemed to work. Being straight probably didn't hurt either. Women in North America seem to have no problem approaching guys in a bar. However in the UK it's a different story. Men are expected to make the first move all the time and take the risks. I have always been telling my friends that they never actually pull a woman, she allows herself to be pulled by you, i.e., you need to look for the "buy signals" from her before going in to close the deal, and by simply doing that you increase your success rate. The question has always been: "How do you encourage those buy signals?" David, buddy, you have shown us the light. The jigsaw is complete. and You are right in your book that some men just seem to know this intuitively - or they may just be a@#holes - but the effect is much the same. Be cocky and funny, laugh them into bed, confuse them, and above all don't worry about it - we call this the Bastard Magnet in the UK. Every girl loves a bastard. So how does it work in un the UK in practice? - well like a charm: my current favorite is this (apologies if this seems verbose, but I talk quickly and as a lawyer am often expected to make long statements like this, but it's important to make it sound like a parody of a lecture or a submission - your whole thing about the importance of being in character is spot on): Me: If we're walking I pull her up and say, "And so we come to the part of the evening where according to the rules of dating I am obliged to entice you back to my place for sex. Now I also fully understand that according to the rules of dating, you are obliged to refuse on the grounds of chastity and the usual requirements of self- respect and esteem. However, importantly, I also realize that you will be EXPECTING me to ask you back, and in fact, if I don't, you will experience feelings of inadequacy and question your attractiveness. So why don't we take it as read that this interchange has taken place, honour has been satisfied and we can get on with the evening? Her: "Absolutely right..." Me: "Good..." Her: "...OK then, let's go back to your place" Looking back on it, I am surprised, but all the elements are there - Cocky (you expect me to ask you back), funny (conflict between her feelings of attractiveness and self-esteem), care-less attitude (take it as read and get on with the evening), character (I'm talking as if I'm giving a lecture or making an argument in court), and taking charge. Dude, the samurai weren't the best because they had the best technique, they were the best because they had no fear of death - thanks for taking the fear out of failure. When you come to London, email me and we'll grab a beer. Cheers JL >>>MY COMMENTS: These are some of the best examples of how to be Cocky and Funny in different situations that I've ever seen. This is amazing... I love it. It's charming, funny, and incredible. Awesome. ***QUESTION*** hi David, i have been hard on myself for a few days now from not making the move to kiss this girl who i have loved for so long. she gave me the signal, but i didn't follow through. i panicked. now i worry she won't ever give me another chance considering this ha happened before when i don't make the move. she knows i love her a great deal. i even called and left a message the next day to see if she wanted to see a movie with me. she didn't reply back. do you think i should be concerned or do you think I'll get another chance to be her boyfriend? and to help me, what can i do to not hesitate the next time around when i feel she wants to be kissed? l. >>>MY COMMENTS: This is a problem. If a woman knows that it's time for you to kiss her, and you DON'T DO IT because you're too nervous, you'll probably not get another chance at it. The way to not hesitate next time is to use "The Kiss Test", as described on my website, in my book, in my CD audio series, in my seminars, and in every frickin' thing I teach ever. Dude, go download a copy of my book online. It's just not worth screwing up these kinds of opportunities just because you don't know what to do. It's important that you learn how to move forward in ALL of the different situations you'll find yourself in with women... not just kissing them. ***QUESTION*** Dave, You are the man! I have been using your techniques and I am definitely seeing results. But, I have a problem with you. You see, I have written at least twice before, but you have never printed my stuff! I mean, what, are my stories not successful enough? Please include this as soon as possible. OK, what has worked for me? Well, one time I was at the mall, this girl didn't have her shoes on. So I say, "Isn't it store policy to be wearing shoes while you're working? I mean, what the hell's wrong with this picture?" So I was teasing her and all that good stuff, and I got her phone number. I work in a liquor store, and I thought of giving girls fake surveys to fill out. So one time, this hottie asks for a 30 pk. beer. I get it for her. Then she leaves. I catch up with her at the parking lot, and I say, "Hey, I didn't get to give this to you while you were inside. I was just wondering if you wanted to take a quick survey." She says sure. So I give her the paper. It looks like this: (Company name) Survey NAME PHONE NUMBER E-MAIL (OPTIONAL) AGE She starts laughing. She says, "This isn't real!" I say, "Of course it is. I want to personally make sure that your next experience here will be even better." She's laughing this whole time and accuses me again of the survey being fake. I say, "OK, fine, but you have to give me points for being creative." She asks me who's it for, and I say it's for me. She starts filling it out. She's reading it and she says, "E-mail, optional, that's cute." I say, "I know." So we chitchat for a little, and I go back to the store, I turn around and I say, "You remember my name, right?" She says my name and I say, "Good job."... (I had to edit this one, because it was just too long here) ...So I've had problems where I'll call the girl, and I won't reach her. I'll leave my name and number either with the machine or with the person who picked up the phone. But the problem is, they don't call back sometimes. Should I call again? Should I just say Next!? And I don't know if I should leave a cocky and funny message on the machine and what I should say, and I'm a little wary because what if she lives with other people, like parents or something?... S.G. from Jersey >>>MY COMMENTS: This is quite possibly the greatest idea I've heard this year for getting a woman's name, number and email. "I was wondering if you'd like to take a quick survey" LOL! To answer your questions: STOP CALLING FIRST ON THE PHONE... EMAIL FIRST INSTEAD. Women will answer your emails probably TWICE as often as they'll return calls, so start there. Then get on the phone to set up the plans in a few minutes and get off. Stop playing the phone game! ***SUCCESS STORY*** Dave, I can't thank you enough. Your book has taught me so much, and given me so much confidence in life and especially in the women department. I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE. Now..I have always been good at attracting girls early on, but for some reason I could never keep one for more than a couple of weeks. It sucked. My confidence level went way down and i could never figure out what the deal was. Well I finally decided it was time to change things so i got on the net and eventually stumbled on to your newsletter, and about a month later i bought your book.. Complete turnaround. Now I know what was wrong. I had a bad case of WUSSYNITIS. Every time I got together with a girl i turned into a complete wuss. Now I have to fight 'em off with a stick. I have so much fun bustin' their balls and they LOVE ME FOR IT. And well.. Thanks for giving me a clue. S. from TX. >>>MY COMMENTS: You're not alone. Men all over the world are victims of the same psychological disorder... the one you call: WUSSYITIS Now, I might suggest that we try to find a name that's a little more catchy for the psychology books, but hey... it's a good start. One of the problems with what I'll call "The Inner Wuss" is that it's HARD TO GET RID OF for most guys. It's way too easy to slip back into Wuss Mode with a woman, and screw things up INSTANTLY. The "Inner Wuss" often makes an appearance at the WORST time (when you want to approach a woman and start a conversation, for instance). If you want to succeed with women, you MUST get rid of the INNER WUSS. By the way, there are TWO PARTS to successfully approaching women. The first part is to get your INNER GAME together... I'm talking about overcoming fear, building a confident self-image and getting yourself into a positive mental state. The second part is the TECHNIQUES. Here I'm talking about where to go, how to approach, what to say, and everything in between. If you're interested in getting these two aspects of your "game" together, then you MUST check out two of my programs... For the first part (the Inner Game), you need to get your hands on a copy of my "Deep Inner Game" DVD program. This is literally an ARSENAL of tools and techniques to help you re-work your self-image, self-esteem, and self-confidence... all in the area of WOMEN AND DATING. It includes what I consider to be the most powerful psychological concepts ever discovered and all I can say is that you MUST check it out. All of the details about the program, plus some great sample video clips are here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/DeepInnerGame/ For the SECOND part (the techniques), you need to check out my "Approaching Women" program. I spend time on the Inner Game in this program, but you're going to be BLOWN AWAY by the literally hundreds of techniques, lines and tips for approaching women, getting numbers and turning them into dates. If you've ever wanted to learn the skill called "Approaching Women", then this program is going to teach it to you. Go check out the video clips and details about the program here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/ApproachingWomen/ By the way, I'm so confident that these programs will clear away your obstacles with women and get you INSTANT results that you can SEE with your own two eyes, that I'll literally let you try them without cost. If you like them, keep them... if you don't, send them back and pay nothing. Really. Details are on the Web sites. Oh, one last thing... In my down loadable online eBook, "Double Your Dating", I devote almost an entire chapter to showing you how to improve your self-image and confidence with women. I also teach you some of my personal favorite techniques for approaching women and starting conversations. If you haven't downloaded your copy yet, go here and get it: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/eBook/ Make sure you read through the entire site as well, because there are some GREAT tips available inside. And I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D.