TrichomiumT's blog: "Trichome Alchemy"

in this day and age it's not all that hard to find something to complain about..from the stupidity of Mr Bush and his government too the price of gas, we north americans have lots of inconsequential things that we get to bitch and moan about. I sit here watching the snow fall, seeing it slowly hide all the imperfections of my lawn.And I wonder, what would it take to bring everyone in this world to the same even playing field. What would it take? I would willingly give up my car, t.v. computer, hell even most of my house, to help someone. Now I know some people send money to charities to help the poor peoples in other countries...but in all honesty how much of that money actually gets to these people. I guess I'm just a bit frustrated at how extremely broken our world is. For all our modern toys and experience we still haven't seemed to learn the most basic truth...which is this. "Love thy neighbor as thyself" Now im no christian...im not really a part of any organized religion (though i find they all have some good points) But that one rule should always be foremost in our minds. Instead of buying yourself the newest latest gadget that will make you temporarily happy, look around you...maybe buy that bum you see begging for change everyday a sandwhich, do something nice for a friend or someone you don't even know. and this time. don't expect anything in return. just give for the sake of knowing that it helps....I know I've kinda jumped around a bit, but the message is still there.

I feel drained. I feel Tired, I'm frustrated. I want to scream at the top of my lungs till My breath, my heart, my mind gives out. Seems like everything is out to get me. I try, I work, I strive. Only to keep hitting this invisible wall that wont let me succeed. I can't seem to find that winning formula, that thing that everyone else seems to have that lets them move forward. For some reason, it eludes me. I'm alone in this. I can't explain it in a way that will allow you to understand it. I can only put these words down and hope that in some way it will make me feel better. I feel beaten, like I've just been through 12 rounds with a heavy weight champ. Mentally I'm a whirlwind, thoughts scattered and misplaced. Physically, while i may seem to be Ok, I'm not, im bruised, and broken. Sanity wise...I'm not sure anymore. Thoughts, too many, and not enough answers to satisfy. Damned if I do, and Damned if I don't. Can't seem to make myself happy let alone anyone else. You could say im depressed, it wouldn't be too far from the truth. But I'm also happy...kinda. Too hard to explain, once again....Dip into my mind someday, it may explain things, since I dont seem to be able too.

Wonderful things abound on the mindscape. Thoughts of Completion and confirmation. I'am content...haven been able to say that quite awhile. On the business end of life.. are going fairly well, We're way further ahead at thins point the I figured we'd be. So i'm rather enthused about it:D lol Good weekend of drinkin, dancing and drumming... getting to know people more and more, loving it too... maybe things are finally starting to turn around again... Hope so...

So, Screaming Icarus(dan) seems to have a hate on about Matts, and since I'm a Matt, and a former close friend of his I can only assume that it is partially directed at me. So be it. It's tricky with people you grow up with, because generally you grow apart. Such was the case with me and Dan. We were good friends all through Highschool and then I went off to collage. Came back the next year and we were still friends, not as good as before, but still friends. Then I moved away again. Life fucked around with me a bit and I changed, which was natural. I ended up moving back to my home town again and tried to hangout with dan again. The only problem was that he didnt understand where i was comming from now. My outlook on life had changed and so had his, but in an different direction. Subsequently we started drifting apart. Now there was a bunch of shit that kinda went on between us, as is bound to happen when close friends break apart. But I thought we had left on realitivly good terms. I guess I was wrong. Now, for some reason beyond me he has decided to hate me, same with his fiance, who, really i don't know and have never done anything too. So Dan, or meghan for that matter, if you're going to blog about me, atleast let me respond on your page. would only be fair -Matt

"Life is like bread. It’s great at first, but as time passes it gets harder" -Matthew Good Ignorance belittles those around you more than it does yourself. Ignorance and the Ebola virus are comparable in three respects: 1] They’re both invisible 2] They’re both infectious 3] And they both kill -Matthew Good

My meandering thoughts will not allow me to rest, no sleep for the wicked they say...and certainly no sleep for me. These days of mine just keep passing, I wake, shower, dress, make my lunch, and go to my business management class. I fill my brain with knowledge and I leave. I go and eat supper. I go hangout with friends and smoke pot. This is my life, day in, day out. Being an Insomniac is an interesting thing. You're not awake, You're not asleep, your not really you, yet you are...it's hard to explain unless you yourself are expierencing it. I catch myself staring off into space alot, just listening to whats being said instead of watching it be said. I find that I pick up much more about a person this way. Next time you find yourself alone at night, walk around your house/appt/condo/whateverthefuckyouhave. Turn all the lights off, the T.V. off the Computer off....leave the fridge plugged in, you'll need it later. Now once your place is dark stand in a room, any room you want. and just shut up. Be silent. If you listen long and hard enough you'll be able to hear that hum that is us, that which makes us tick. And tick we do, tick goes the clock, it's hand moving once again. Always too fast. They say that you'll be dead alot longer then your alive...I tend to agree

Valentine Application!!! Would you make out with me? [] Hell Yeah [] Yes [] No [] Maybe Would you sleep with me? [] In an instant! [] Yes [] No [] Maybe Am I attractive? [] Heck no [] hot as Hell [] Fine [] Cute [] Okay [] Ugly! Do you think I'm a virgin? [] Yes [] No [] Don't know Would you... (Check all that apply) [] Buy me cute underwear? [] Buy me a cute bra? [] Buy me flowers? [] Take me out to dinner? [] Buy me a drink? [] Buy me a thong? [] Get me some chocolates Name one thing you would like to do to me... I look like.. [] A player [] Next bf/gf [] A friend [] A friend with benefits [] A possibility [] A loser If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me? [] Yes [] No [] maybe Would you rather.. ?? [] Hook up with me [] Cuddle with me [] Date me [] Friends [] Friends with benefits [] Have sex On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me.. [] 1 [] 2 [] 3 [] 4 [] 5 [] 6 [] 7 [] 8 [] 9 [] 10 What would you want me to be to you? [] Friend [] Girlfriend/Boyfriend [] Friend with benefits Would you give me a lapdance? [] Hell Yeah [] Yes [] No [] Maybe Would u give me your number? If so let me get it (___)___-____ Are you going to repost this so i can answer for you? [] Yes [] No

Tainting everything with my touch You’re the figment of misconceptions Lost the elusive calm inside The veil drops to the ground Alone we’re nothing Can’t ease the pain I put us through Severing the nerve Can’t see I need anything A twisted passion Whips and leather are all you bring Non-motion sickness Static is the only sound

I'm tired of heartbreak. I'm tired of watching friends and people I care about be hurt. I'm tired of all the bullshit that seems to come along with relationships. I'm fucking tired of all of this relational bullshit. I think it's time for me to become a hermit