Swissmiss81's blog: "Torn"

"The American Love Dream" All the things that surround my life and all the things that keep me busy still can't keep my mind off you. There's so many painful feelings that fill my heart whenever I think about you. You promised so much. But where's your end of the bargain? Why did you waste all the time and effort into making me believe I could trust you? Making me believe you were the one for me. And making me fall for you blindly. God, I was so blind! How could I have been so fucking stupid? And that's all I can chalk this up to... is a stupid lack of good judgement.

So here I am again. Torn, broken and destroyed. For a brief moment I found my light. I found you. And the hope you gave me. For that brief momen is unmeasurable. I had forgotten all the pain. Put away all the sorrow. And trusted your word when you said you would never hurt me. But the truth now foreshadows my hope. You are just like the rest. And you leave me now... broken, destroyed, and that much more alone. Why couldn't you just have left me alone? I really believed you would be my saving grace. A change in attitude and heart. A different view from all I've been accustomed to. But in the end you're just like all the rest... cold, complacent, and out to play the never-ending game with my heart. I'm sick of playing. I'm sick of compromising my hear. For a temporary light.