...Recently I had my heart ripped out of my chest and stomped on. Since thenI have not been able to act "normal" with people ..... I apologize. I found myself the last few days just sobbing uncontrolably out of no where. People have passed away recently and the anniversary of 3 importants deaths is approaching. Maybe being completely brokenhearted and lied to has made me act the way I have. Someone asked me about my erotic blogs...Most of them are true but some are not. I spend every Saturday night alone for anyone who is wondering..its true before you think I have some "Stable" of men waiting. I also had the weirdest week with exs. A shitload of them contacted me begging for me to be involved with them again. HOW NUTS is that? My 40th Birthday is March 3rd, and I am off about that as well.....What I am torn about is to actually persue a relationship with someone else or not. All I see is myself getting shredded again. i do not think I could handle that again....Especially the men who want to marry me one day and then misinterpret something I wrote in a public forum.....I really kinda like this person but right now I think he loathes me. There really are alot of other fish in the sea..but its always the one who got away that I seem to pine for. I don't know what to say or do anymore.....
