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Torn

time slips through my hands... sometimes i don't even know who i am... but the waves that crash around me... are not all of my own creation... or maybe they are... don't always understand... my own mind... my own heart... they betray me... laughing at me like mindless jesters... one smiling... the other in tears... leaving me to find my way...alone... in this sea of endlessness... adrift on waves of emotions... that i can neither understand... nor control... my pain is an everlasting soul torture... torn in halves... my soul lingers... trying vainly too piece itself back together... but not knowing where too begin... a soul alone... knowing that somewhere there is another... so very much the same... beckoning through the lonely night... crying shamelessly for return from this darkness... too no avail... what is love... that brings no gladness too its vessel... and yet brings ecstasy at the same moment... years of emptiness... an awakened soul... scratching too the surface... finds still no escape... a clear glass barrier lies over the surface... a cruel window that will only let me see... that which would end this confusion... but never letting me reach out and touch... that which i can never own... leaving me breathless below the surface... still alone... longing... for that breath... that can never be mine... will i drown... or drift endlessly... or possibly just continue... sailing the ship that is this sweet madness... forever....
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