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Top rejected state of the union opening lines
"Immediately after my speech, you are all cordially invited to come up
here and kiss my pasty white ass."
"Members of Congress, I feel you're a pain."
"Look at it, people! Take a good look! You got a tool like this, you use
it -- know what I'm sayin'?"
"Are you impeachin' me? Are you impeachin' me? You gotta be impeachin' me
cuz I'm the only President standin' here."
"Okay, I shagged her. I shagged her rotten, baby!"
"I'm not under oath, am I?"
"This meeting of The Duplicitous Serial Adulterers Group will now come to
order. Ha, ha! Just kidding, people."
"I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But
first, a few words from my husband..."
"Whoa! I've been sleepwalking the last three years! I hope I didn't do
anything embarrassing!"
"First, I'd like to introduce my new Attorney General, Alec Baldwin."
"Any of y'all got that Gwyneth Paltrow gal's phone number?"
"(Psssst! Al! Fourth row, third from the left -- you can see right up her
skirt!)"
"I don't think anyone can deny that this past year has made a vas deferens
in the face of politics.."
"I have not had sexual relations with anyone in this chamber. But
seriously, folks..."
"Acquit me, or the stock market gets it."
