>Fourth Place:
>
>
> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
>goes into her breast.
>
>They are both quite startled.
>
>The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
>breast, I know you'll forgive me."
>
>She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----------------------
>
>Third Place:
>
>
> One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
>his wife's arm.
>
>The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
>appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
>
>The husband, rejected, turns over.
>
>A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
>
>"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------------
>
>Runner Up:
>
>
>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
>number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he
>had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the
>pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to
>talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
>overcome the compulsion on his own.
>
>
>
>One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once
>that something was seriously wrong.
>
>"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
>
>"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put
>my penis into the pickle slicer?"
>
>"Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
>
>"Yes, I did." he replied.
>"My God, Bill, what happened?"
>"I got fired."
>
>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>
>"Oh...she got fired too."
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>-----------
>Winner:
>
>
>A couple had been married for 50 years.
>
>They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,
>"Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast
>table together."
>
>"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a
>jaybird fifty years ago."
>
>"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
>
>Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
>
>"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples
>are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
>
>"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
>
>"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
