Top 10 Signs You Might Be a Zombie
By James A. on August 9th, 2007
10. On your dinner menu for the past 467 nights: Brains.
9. Your dream woman? Anna Nicole Smith, post mortem.
8. You’re up all night moaning and drinking blood (sorry, that’s a sign you’re Billy Bob Thornton).
7. Your day job for the past four years: Pounding on the back door of an isolated farm house.
6. Your parents named you Uuuuhhhhhnnn.
5. You often say to your wife: “You know what would go really well with this pasta? Flesh of the living!”
4. You’re attracted to women with exposed spleens.
3. You enjoy playing such British Invasion tunes as “She’s Not There” and “Time of the Season” (sorry again, that’s a sign you’re a member of the 1960s band The Zombies).
2. Your second biggest pet peeve: Your right arm falls off whenever you try to masturbate.
1. Your biggest pet peeve: Your penis fell off two years ago.