Tomorrow? Maybe?
As I look in this mirror with pain in my eyes, I knew it was the last time I would see myself. I see the tears roll down my face, because I know I’m in my last moments. I have felt this pain for a long time. Like some remnants of a left over nightmare. I feel the hurt in my heart for I will see no more tomorrow.
I think about the things I was told in my past… like life being the most unforgiving teacher one may have. And what comes around goes around. Is it my turn soon?
I look hard at myself, and knowing it is time I walk to my bed and lie down, and I think of all the people I’ve hurt in my life… I wish I could say that I’m sorry. Sometimes sorry doesn’t cover it. Sometimes it’s just not enough. How well I know that now. Now as I say my prayers, I see my life in a reality I have never seen before.
I see her coming for me as she said she would. Everything is so vivid and clear. But I am unafraid; I know what it is that she has come to do. She has come to take me as her own.
I am confused. She looks so scared. She has tears in her eyes and the look of remorse hands over her face like a black cloud. It seems like some one or something is making her do this against her will. As she walks closer to me with the blade in her hand, I feel sorry for her. Because somehow I know it’s not her fault.
I drift back into my past again. My life passing before my eyes…The good times and the bad. I know she doesn’t want to her me, but is being driven too. She looks so confused which confuses me. She raises the blade above my head… a flash of light strikes the blade making it glitter like a candle in the night.
Could this really be it?
She says she is sorry as she slips the blade across my throat. I tried to scream but nothing comes out and the scream I tried to produce rolls off my tongue as fast at it came to be there. I feel warm blood falling on my shirt. and running down my chest. And what’s this? Her warm tears fall upon my face. She is holding my head in her lap as I bleed; crying her tender heart out. The poor child… I look up at her and really see her for the first time. I am startled to see how much she looks like me. Then I realize as the hazy fog clears my head, that I am alone, and no one was ever there. The woman I saw was me. I had taken my own life. Before I slip in to the darkness, I laugh at how mad I truly am and this that I did was no injustice. I say to the world I am leaving …
I say goodbye cruel world… I’m leaving you today. Good-bye…. Good-bye…
Good-bye!
