Jaykob's blog: "My life"

Well, time for another blog that nobody will read, but it helps me to write them, so if you are that one person wh will read it, thank you..:D

Now, onto why today will suck.  5 years ago to the day I was walked my soon to be ex-wife up to a priest, on top of a little bridge and swore to spend the rest of my life with her.  A promise I was wanting to keep, but now that she decided to "not be happy with me", I'm spending it getting divorce paperwork filled out right and going on an emotional ride that I wish I was too short to ride.  Sometimes I wish I could just shut down and not feel like I used to do, it made situations like this so much easier, but instead I have to get all shitty on myself.  All I know is that even though I wanted to stay with her and work on our problems, in all honesty it probably would have ended anyways later on, so I guess I should thank her, but it's just hard to do today when I took time off work that I'm probably stuck taking, like I need to stay at home and think about this right now, all in plans of taking her somewhere nice and original.  Oh well, if you read this thanks for listening, I'll try to make more sense soon and stop whining about this, it just hurts and is a major part of my life right now.

All I can say is, I'm better off alone and lonely then with someone and miserable.  This is my comfort thought. It does work sometimes