Missing You's blog: "To Love You Must Suffer ... So Let The Pain Begin!"

"Accept me for who I am ... and that I'm only human, and there are more important things than what we fight about. We say hurtful things sometimes ... and it gets hard when you love someone so much ... everybody's got highs and lows. It's alright ... We will grow old together, even for worse or better. Nothing will ever keep us apart!" ~~~Leann Rimes~~~ NO, I still don't care for love ... but that was for those fairy tale wishers of you out there! <3 Ash

Why ... WHy ... WHY???!!! Why do hurt the ones we love? Why must they hurt you?
If you love someone you aren't supposed to cause them pain, you supposed to be there for them to console them in that time of sorrow! I just can't understand what drives the human race to do the inconceivable things that they do. You know, I have a saying on my blog that says "To love, you must suffer ... So let the pain begin." Well, I loved, and all I do now is suffer. My heart is breaking for the final time. I loved many times before, and somehow, end up with all the same results. It amazes me ... "History always repeats itself." Let me tell you that that is the god honest truth. Why do we not appreciate what we have until it's gone? Why do we not realize we love someone until it's too late? The damage has been done, and no many how many times I forgive, I've been simply made a fool of. I've told all my skeltons, all my secrets, rectified all my lies ... only for the person to oppositely do so blunty in my face. I've given up on love, because love's given up on me. That was the perfect line out of a Miranda Lambert song because it rings true for me. Every time I try to let someone into my heart, to get close to me, somehow I always end up burned. And right now, there is nothing left of this heart to burn away, but a thread that keeps me hanging on. Why doesn't this ring true any more these day?:
Why love be the answer to solve all heartaches and all wrongdoings of those that we love? It just doesn't happen like that. When the person you love does you worng, and you try to let love be the answer, they continue to do you wrong, and that only makes you hurt more. I'm living proof of that. Why can something or someone you love soo much, hurt you soo deeply? Isn't love supposed to bring happiness? It just doesn't make sense. As Leann Rimes singings it ... "Nothing 'bout love makes sense." I just hate loving someone and letting them in, only for them to walk all over and spit upon my heart ... for them to rip it out of my chest and hold it before my very eyes, and then squeeze my heart so that all I can do is feel the pain. Why is it that all I've ever felt from love is pain? And why does it always somehow end up boiling down to this?:
I don't care if your read this or respond to this ... I just needed to let go of some pain, and I do so best through writing. <3 Ash

An Arlington Christmas ... Please don't forget about our fallen soldiers, and the troops that are continually fighting for our freedom this holiday season. Thanks!

Hey ya'll this was just too cute to pass up ... here's my Christmas card to all my friends! Check it out. It's me of course, so I'm sure you'll get a good laugh out of it. Anyways ... Here is the link: http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=8002bf5c09fdf374d2fc238G06121818 (Note: you may have to copy and paste the link into your web browser.) <3 Belle

So, it's exactly -*09*- days before Christmas, and I've decided to update my profile after being on here for only a month. Granted I know a lot of tricks with HTML coding from MySpace that seem to work on here, but all the same, it's a pain in the ass to do. I'm such a perfectionist that if my profile doesn't look neat, and readable ... I fuqn go nuts. I blame it on my Over Compulsive Personality Disorder (COPD.) Anyways, nothing much else to say ... Well, I'm off to bed!

Okay, so I'm getting really irritated with this site right now. Everytime I want to do something ... I keep getting this lovely message that I "need to be a level 3 in order to do that." OMFG... and someone tried telling me that I don't have to worry about these damn Cherry points ... when in fact since I'm only level 2 - I do. I would never have this issue with MySpace! Anyways, I'm done bitching. Talk to you all later. <3 Ash

It really quite a shame how addicting this website can be after only being on it for one day. So um, yeah. I'm a CHERRY ADDICT. On another note, I cannot wait for the next ten days to pass by. I want so badyly to be getting on that plane and finding myself on my way to see my man, (I Luv Yew baby!) The only thing that is gonna suck is the fact that I will be away from my son, and I have a hard time spending an hour away from him ... so this is going to be hard, but well worth it. If I'm not on here ya'll can find me on CamFrog (http://www.camfrog.com.) I cannot believe how many friends and freaks I've met on there. Oh well. I'm off to bed, so this will be the end to my first blog! HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! <3 Ash