greenarmy1980's blog: "To find the one....."

I have been doing a lot of thinking. I go and work out, while doing so I think about everything in my day to day life. I think of all the happiness that I have had, all the sadness that I have had and how I have been able to turn everything into a positive perspective. I worry at times that I might have only put a band aid on my emotions. I then notice that I am a much stronger man, mentally than I was before. When problems arise, I come up with you solutions. It is what I do, what I do best. Lately, I have been taking care of things back home. Trying to make sure that I am able to have a place to go home too once I am released from active duty, insuring that I am not in debt when I return home and perhaps making a purchase of a new form of transportation when I get home. I do not plan on coming home until November 2009, which is a ways away, for sure, but you never know what the military does until it does it. I have been working in Iraq since February of 2008 and I have witnessed a dramatic change compared to 2004 when I was last here. I have seen the citizens of Iraq start taking care of their own issues. They have been taking back their country from an insurgency that was not caring about them, and have become much more politically active than ever before in their history. I am proud that the Iraqi people are starting to stand up against the menace that has thrived on their society long enough. I feel that I have very good insight in how different cultures are. I have served overseas for five out of the last seven years in hostile fire zones around the world. I have come to appreciate what our government does for others and how I am an integral part at reestablishing the trusting bond that the United States formerly had. I am not here to pick a fight, I am here to mitigate any conflicts, to stop the fighting and help restore the necessary infrastructure to reestablish essential services. I wish that all soldiers were better aware of the consequences of their actions. How the actions of one can affect the progress of many is easy, the media takes that one incident and progresses it into a world-wide event. I blame the media for a lot of the set backs that the US military has had in stabilizing and securing both Iraq and Afghanistan. I think that they have not only demonized individuals but have caused hardships on the jobs of the people in Civil Affairs, whose job is to establish and build rapport with the host nation. I do not agree with the actions of the few soldiers that have violated basic human rights and have created bad situations for us, at the same time, I do not agree with the media for having to make it front page news. I feel that the job that I do in Iraq has helped me with the job that I do at home. I have a tremendous amount of patience with my children. I love them so much and I am reminded of that every time I call them, every time that I see them. I feel that my way of life could have been drastically different had I not been guided along a path which had me helping others who needed it. I am thankful for who I am today from the military and from my father for assisting me in being as balanced as anyone could ever ask for. Overall, I feel that I did not do anything wrong, I am a great soldier, I know that I am a great father and I know that I was a caring, dutiful husband that tried to do what I could to keep some romance alive. Thank you for reading.

I have found that my life has had ups and downs for as long as I can remember. My downs do not stay for long because I am very good at lifting my chin up and carrying on. I do not quite know why I am this way, for the most part I thank my father for his parenting skills. Things could have been a lot worse for me, I know for sure as I see it on a daily basis. Currently I am in the second half of my deployment. Due to financial considerations I stayed a bit longer to make sure that I have one more good year. I also have the hopes that I will not be deployed anytime in the near future. I do not have any regrets with the service that I have given to my country. I know that I have a big decision coming up though that will affect the way I live my life for the next 10 years starting in 2010. I currently have four children at home that miss me a whole bunch. I found that out when I was home with them over the holidays. I know that they need me to be around so that I can help foster and develop them into better rounded children. I have an ex-wife that can be difficult, but for the most part is trying to learn to be civil to me. I miss my children a whole lot too. Some people would say that the amount of time I have spent overseas is a direct reflection as to why I do not have a wife. Others would just say that we grew apart. Regardless, I do not have her anymore. I currently have ten years of service in the United States Army reserves, five out of the last seven years, soon to be six, has been deployed overseas in hostile fire environments. This is a substantial amount of time for anyone, let alone a reservist. My reenlistment is coming up very quickly. I have been seriously considering to continue my service, yet at the same time, to what cost. I think that my children do understand that Daddy is in the military and they understand that I am in the business to help people out. To improve the quality of life of the world to be. However, I fear that my ex might be feeding misinformation to my children. I know that my kids need me home, but I also know that regardless of the kids, I am halfway to being able to have a solid retirement with the military. I will continue to think about this. I feel that I still have a lot to offer in service to my country. I feel that my service is easy to explain to my kids when they ask. So I do not see many issues with doing what I do. I do not think that I have had enough of the military, just as I feel that the military has not had enough of me. Thank you for reading.

It is an endeavor that we will have until we find the one. When we are growing up, we have preconceived notions as to who the one will end up being. What we do not know is that it can take many years to find the one who will truly make you happy. How is it possible to find the one, how would you ever know? Is there really any such thing as love at first site? If you have never loved; how would you know what love is? Many questions asked as you go on your quest to find the one. You might be able to appreciate life more when you do find the perfect match. It is one of those things that cause you to think about the things that are most important in life. As you do get older you are able to put details that you did not think about when you were growing up. The additional attributes that a woman or man must possess to be supportive in life. You learn that you are not capable of doing everything to the best of your ability. Sometimes you learn a little late that you might not have been as prepared as you thought you were with the choice of who you wish to be with for the rest of your life. It is not always the way you want life to be, you came to the world with challenges unbeknownst to anyone or even yourself. You find out after some trial and error that the one you look for will help you understand life. You find that the person you are looking for most will be someone that will listen to you, support you, will help you to cross bridges, to meet the challenges in life head on, to overcome obstacles and pick you up when you feel your worse. You find out that you want to be able to have someone to be there for you that you can talk to about anything. It is about finding your match, someone that you are comfortable with. You need to find someone to compliment you in your weaknesses. In the event that you are not strong enough to go on, you need someone that will support you back to your feet, to continue on life's journey. I believe that in everyone's heart they have the virtue to be anyone's true love, to be the one. You have to ultimately believe in yourself and learn to love yourself in order to find the best for yourself. To think of you in such a way is not to be selfish, but to be able to value yourself. Remember to live life without fear, do not fear rejection. Learn from it, you can truly be happy if you are able to face your fears.