We all face time each day. We wait for the work clock to strike the stop time. We wait for the alarm clock to ring to send us on to our days chores...
We face time day to day and we seem to never relise its there. We face it moment to moment second to second, and we notice not how late it is. However when time is a seperation from someone you care about, those seconds feel like hours, those hours like months.
Sometimes we look around us, and find someone we care deeply for, and we strive to make sence of it all. We see a time and distance seperating our meeting, blocking our embrass. And we fail to relise there are those in the world, who are seperated by war. Their loved ones in danger daily, and we stress about our lost love who is just a time a way from being with us.
We let our minds wander, we let our hearts sink, we let the sadness of seperation drag us down, so we seek something more direct and easily reached. I guess in some instances there are those stronger then others. But if you ask them why they are strong? Why they can wait? they answer its love, i never let my love die. I keep it on top of all that worries me, i keep it closest to me when all seems wrong in the world. I keep it above every thought of life not working out right.
I know i have done the impossible before, i have left a job i loved, all i owned, and even my family for love. I took only the time i needed to make it happen, and it was worth it. Even tho it ended badly for me, i would repeat it all over again even knowing the outcome.
For me i have learned to follow my instinct and heart above all my mind may say. For our minds always look at the worst and never contemplate the happiness when we are confused or sad. For me no matter how long or hard it would be, i would wait and see, so one day i would never have to ponder these questions...
Did i miss out on the one?
What if i had met her?
Was not waiting a few months worth the settling for what was closest?
Would we have lasted forever?
Would there have been a feeling of the earth moving when we met and kissed the first time?
For me all these questions i never want to experiance. For till the day i died i would always wonder. So to this day i ask myself these questions to remind me its always worth the chance.
What was it about them i fell for?
Why were they so easy to talk to?
How and why did i trust them with so much?
Why did i chose this other person?
Was this other person as easy for me to talk to?
Would i trust them with the same things i did the other?
Did my heart feel as strongly for them and as quickly?
Finally if i fail to meet the person i know What If would come to mind forever...
I have done this once in my life when i was in the army. And i learned then that What If is the worst thing to live with. What if What if What if....
So i learned and did take a chance once before. Others ask me how i could do all i did, and then they say see what it got you.. And all i can say is this, it was worth the moments of love i had with that person. The days we shared, the laughter we created. Those memories will always be there, and i can answer honestly it was worth it.
They ask me if i would do it again, and i always say YES id travel the world if i felt she was the right one, to be with her. But only if i can answer those questions above and feel 100% secure that its worth the effort. For me finding true love is worth the effort. And you can never find it without taking a chance, and you can never know if shes the one, unless you take the time, and find out face to face.
Sometimes we need to listen deeper inside then we are comfortable with to find the answers we seek. To find happiness we have to trust in the unseen and unanswered. We have to trust that taking a chance may lead to eternal joy. And if it does not, we have not lost anything, we have only gained more insiight to who we are, and hopefully gained a friend we can call on even on our death bed to be there with us.
However you also have to relise, that when you feel your world is collapsing around you. And that nothing but bad things can happen to you, that sometimes its those chances that lead us to the happiness we have always needed. We have to remember to not let the bad times we once had deter us from the possiblity of the good that is now in front of us, that may be our reward for taking as much pain as we have in our lifes so we may go thru our last days happy.
