Ya know this sucks. I'm working tonight which is great and I was thrilled till I got the third degree last night. I love how everything I get to do that's any fun at all or that I enjoy doing, someone has to piss all over I and either wreck it or make me so unhappy that I can't enjoy myself!!!! This just sucks!!!!
Am I not allowed to enjoy anything at all ever???? I guess I'm just meant to sit and watch everyone else enjoy anything and everythign they want and forget me and what I might like. I might as well just had my life over to someone else, hell it bascially is now anyway.
It's really hard to push through all the negativity and crap when that's all there ever seems to be. Then everyone expects you to be happy all the time and that you shouldn't be upset ever. Whatever!!!!
People compliment me on being nice, sweet, kind, caring and on and on. Yeah, thanks and where does that ever get me???? Let's see, used, screwed over, hurt, sad, unhappy, disappointed, and down right crappy.
Only problem is, is that's me. It's just me and if I change and become a bitch which would help with the feeling hurt and such for the most part, I won't be happy either. That's who I am, and if I'm not the nice, sweet, kind and caring person that I am, then I have nothing.
I'm glad people feel that way about me, but really, how much of that really matters????!!!!
Thanks to those of you who have told me otherwise. I appreciate it.
I guess only time will tell whether or not this is how it's gonna be.
