All these poems are written by me and are my original pieces
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As she walks through the hall to attend the grand ball, she's stricken with fear. Thousands of men, with handfuls of beer. The memories flood her mind, no man would ever be kind to a heart that's been so badly broken. Her body is just a meer token, her entire existance so badly beaten all her emotions the demons have eaten. The tears of hatred fall from her eyes, no decent guy out there heard her cries. Until the night that her sobs never ended, she noticed the man that she had befriended. He took away all her troubles and pain, showed her how much there was to gain. All she had to do was search her heart. for the emotion that so long ago did part. She found the one thing sent from above, she found in him, her one true love.
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Bound to this earth as if i had roots planted in the ground beneath me. I can't make myself leave that such emotion is unspoke of. The earth gives me pain, pain too much to bare. I am way too sensative not to care. I want to sway like the tree's in the wind, be free like the birds in the sky. But as my complex emotions just fly by. I never seem to understand why I just can't relieve myself from this earth bound state to which I live, in total confusion. I want to be within the ground underneath the most beautiful flower to symbolize the beauty within myself that no one seems to notice. But I just can't get the nerve to be open and free with who I am when who I am is unaccepted when who I am is earthbound.
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My real name is charm, smiling and being nice to everyone, yet making it an act. Yesturday my name was deerskins, just being used by unworthy hands, and being put on display. Today my name is hope, for I hope this day wont get any worse. Tomorrow my name will be Air, floating in and out of feelings and emotions,yet quitely so to be unseen and unheard.Secretly I know my name is billboard, just standing around for all to see, yet, everyone looking right past me. My name was once Buttercup, sweet and delicate, only to be chewed up and spit out by those allergic to peanutbutter. In my dreams my name is lovely, always loving everyone and everything, only to then get misunderstood. Yet my world things my name is Dark, Ugly,Gothic, and cold all of which I am not.
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As they were lighting up the sky, I saw a twinkle in your eye. As the sounds engulfed my ears, your love evaporated all of my tears. As we watched them hand in hand, I remembered kissing you in the sand. Baby you are my one and only, without you I'd be too lonely. Flames sent sensations through my spine, I knew that moment you were truely all mine. Today you filled my heart with happiness, you healed all of my emptiness. You've filled my soul with such bliss. There's one more thing, I'll admit this, I'm still a sucker for your kiss. Besides that there still is more, that I am still a sucker for. Noise and lights all that works, I'm still a sucker for fireworks.
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One night of bliss and happiness, he makes my body tingle. If the other girls could see, just how happy I could be, they'd be engulfed in jealousness. I'm not ment to be cheerful and joyous, I'm not ment to have carisma andbeauty. My place is at the bottom. Girls just walking past me, more beautiful then I could wish to be. But with me he chose to be. Other girls with wanderous endownments just standing in front of guys astonishments. He could have chosen them instead. But we lay together upon his bed, bodies together for comfort and passion. Why was it me, that lay beside him in glee. I'm not that special or great in bed. But exclusive is what he said. To another he did say, that he was busy on this day, because he was sending his girlfriend on her way. Both of them wishing she could stay. I wish for one night again in his arms one night, I dream of that night. Warm and sensational, but only one night.
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If it ever seems like I'm mad at you, It might not be all that true. Just because I might yell at you. Please remember I still love you. My emotions never stay in one place and sometimes I'm no good face to face. If ever I'm angry out of no where, these are just things that I live with. Mood swings that never seem to end. But you seem to have a way of making my happiness mend. So ever if I start to cry, If there's ever a tear in my eye, just hold me close, tell me it's alright remember to hold me real tight, and I promise never to bite. Hard. I love you baby you know it's true. But somethings are hard to work through. My emotions get the better of me, being bipolar just wont leave me be.
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My mind and heart are ever changing, never staying on the same path. When I want to be happy I'm not, when I want to be sad I can't. Sometimes I feel like a yo-yo, up and down sad and happy, confusion builds up until I'm going out of my mind. Doctors can't help me, friends wont save me, nothing works. I can't understand it, I can't grasp it. There's no controlling it lashing out, breaking down, repeating this cycle, I'm sick of it, I hate this confusion, I hate being confused.
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First they stab you in the front, Then they stab you in the back.With no regards about how you will react. You give all that you can, lend out all that you have. As though you had no dignity to save. As many or as few they all seem perfect and true when they are new, But in the end they all remain the same. They suck all the sweetness out of you then wonder why the tables are turned. You finally are to them, what they thought you were all along. Heartless.
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Confused about this love it seems you've been sent from above. You seem to care so truely, so innocent, not cruely. Yet, I hold myself back from you, thinking this can not be true. As I am sure to screw things up. I hold your heart in my hands, like a cup. Yet, anything I say or do, you claim you still love me. And this is new, I love when you hold me, I love when you kiss me. But my heart can not control me, my mind keeps saying, that my dreams can not stop playing. On and on I want to sleep, but the light so slowly does creep. To awaken me, from my fantasy how can you be so right so perfect & beautiful as night?
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This is new, but I love it so. You have me crawling, does is show? Does it show how much care? You my first partner than I am secure with. And oh I love you, I really do. Your radiant and beautiful, and this feeling is new. So some people call us wrong. But what do they know. I care for you so much does it show? I want to hold you tight, and never let you go. You may not believe me but I tell you its true. So I've written this to say, Just how much, I love you.
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Problems at home, and problems at school, but these problems you dont have to face alone. Problems that make you blue and problems you can't get threw and though this may seem new you should know I'm here for you. Though they may not involve me, It's plane to see that right here for you I'm gonna be. Although I have problems of my own, Your still on my mind even when it's not shown. You have you past, and I have mine. We've been through things that send chills through our spine. Yours may be worse you've been through more, you've had bad ex's and walked through down pour. But I promise you can talk to me, right by your side is where I'll be. All you have to do is trust in me.
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As I seek to find the cure, to this pain that I endure. Too many emotions surface. As I try to hind, my mind's suicide, my body just collapses. Will I ever know what it feels like to smile out of pure happiness. Not out of hope, dreams, and jealousness. To feel beautiful outside as well as in. But my confidence is at an end. As the dark engulfs my mind. I dream of relief, the peaceful kind. Take away my depression and my pain. The tears fall. Upon my clothes they leave a stain. From smeared make up of sorrowed eyes. I listen intently for fairies cries, for then my mind can realize, I'm finally to deep to fall further. My depressions everlasting. In my room my music's blasting. My eyes are crying, my mind is crawling, to that darkened place of sorrow, till I awaken on the 'morrow.
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Just because I do not know him, doesnt mean I can not love him. Within the deep of my depression, happiness in great succession. I can not tell the one I love, he's out of reach like stars above. Does my love show through my emptiness, does my heart shine through my sadness. It's stupid what I feel. Pathetic emo crap. Across my face deserves a slap. To wake my mind from an eternal nap. While it slumbers, while it sleeps, my heart it stings, it breaks, it weeps. He does not know, I can not tell. My heart is broken, and empty shell. Will I get hurt again? Will I ever love again? No, instead I love in secret. Never let it out, never shouting about. Will he ever love me too, love me tender, love me true, like to his ex's he used to do?
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All these days, drifting in and out of love. Will there ever be a stop, to this madness? Just once in my life, I wish to find someone, to hold me, care for me, and actually love me. Someone whos always here for me, someone who will never leave me, someone I can spend the rest of my life with. I wish that one day, All the pain and torcher with ease. And I will feel heartache no more. Sometimes I wish that I can make a spell and create that perfect guy to come and lift me off my feet. To take me away, far away, like the princess' in the fairie tails. But of course it wont come true. For me. I might as well keep wishing.
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Faithful and true, my passion is new. Calm and patient. How, why do I do this? Give my heart away so fast. When i know this lust will soon be in the past? Let me lust within my dream, hope and pray and come up with a scheme. To make you mine. As I am shy this may not be known. And as I live this may never be shown. Through my wicked, hateful tears the truth pierces my heart as it nears. You will never dote on me so true as I completely dote on you.
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I am a baby on a pillow, crying lonely there, like a weeping willow. If only there was someone who to pick me up. If only there was someone who really cared. That would love me and hold me and that I know would always be there. Mom is always busy, dad is no where to be found, and brother's off with friends, wandering the city. Me, i'm stuck, crib bound. If only there was a way, to make them feel my pain. I'm absolutely sure, they would go completely insane. But for now i'm just a baby, always crying and neglected. One day they'll understand me, Maybe. And then my would will become perfected. I am a baby , on a pillow. Crying lonely there, like a weeping willow.
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I love him I know I do ,

Where we were once in love, now we're not
Where there were feelings, now they rot.
I want him to love me still,
I want this emptiness to be a fill.
I love that boy to death I say,
But I fear his love will not stay.
What is there for me to do
To keep my lover boy so true.
What can I say to my dear lover,
What can I do to keep him near,
That boy caught my heart
with his very own spear.
He's hard to tame
But its him I have to claim.
I love my baby for ever I do,
I hope he knows my love is true.
I hope he'll never leave me.
I hope he'll always be my baby!