a friend of mine came by today.weve knwn each other since birth and im always glad when we have our talks,today it was differant some,more final.ive seen changes in him for some time but today was the first time it ever caused an ice cold chill to tranquilize my spine.
my friend had always been there for me s well as for others,he had thousands of friends but was the lonliest man id ever known,even beck in school.he was orphaned early in life and had a rather rough foster care time but when he ran away for the final time no one evr came looking.he worked ,lived in the streets yet kept goin through school.
in school he was very athletic but not a jock.he was the rebel.he stuck up for the more shunned kids yet even the super cool were his friends.he went to nam when most of us were in the back seat with betty big boobs.thats where the change began.he did covert opps with the cia in laos and cambodia as well as suicide missions in north viet nam.he came back one of the highest decorated marines in nam history only to be kicked out of a wheel chair and disrespected at the airport.
well he went on with his life an was an accomplished man.but even then i saw the distance in his eyes.he never left the war or the cia.both stayed with himj.he never spoke of what went on but i was there when hd have the hellish flash backs ,i could see the face of evry man whos life hed taken in the name of peace.peace,thats funny,he never enjoyed peace again.hes lived that hell everyday of his life.
as we stood there i looked at what once was a chiseled body ,now,though still showing strength,was a shell of what it once was.his eyes more distant than ever,his words however showed the tenderness in his heart.quiet the combination,but still my friend.
we talked of the good ol days and laughed,then his face became sullen and i saw his eyes cloud over.
cap,he said in a voice so distant,ive never feared anything in my life.i knew where he was going but i was powerless to stop him.i know,i said.well ,now,after all the hell,the wuounds ,the scars everything that ive been throu and all the times i stared death down and laughed,now,im scared.his voice trailed and i saw his giant folded hands shake.here was mr undestructable,the man of steal everyone had thought invinsible,shaking like a dog on a cold winters eve.
i reached out severl times to comfor my friend but each time i pulled back.i was seeing fear in the man who had no fear.i saw faint tears roll down the cheeks id seen smeared with blood and hardened by the sun.
thn he stood up,transforming back into the man i thought id known so well.its ok,cap.no ones ever been able to do that ,im fine plz forgive me,i dont know what came over me.he turned and i watched his intimidating form slowly disappear.
i guess everyone has their breaking point,even giant men that have a big heat.i wish i could of been man enough to hug my friend that day,to tell him i love him,to be by his side when the time comes,but im not sure i can be there for him.hes been put up on a pedestal by everyone and he wont show weakness becouse to them he has none.his tears will flow inside his giant heart,and the saddeness ill turn his soul black.and on the day hes laid to peace a single angel will appear.
hell not go to heaven for all that he has done,and hes lived eternity in hell already.the angel will look and then senence my friend,to a life of damnation ,roaming this land.
DEDICATED TO A FRIEND THA WLL REMAIN ANNONOMOUSE BY REQUEST,AND TO THE MEN SUCH AS HE,THAT WILL GIVE TILL THERES NO MORE TO GIVE AND ASK NOTHING ALOUD IN RETURN,HOWEVER LOOK INTO THEIR EYES AND IF THEY SEAM ENDLESS AND ALONE,GIV THEM A HUG,IT WILL BE A DEBT PAID IN FULL.
TO ALL OUR FIGHTING MEN AND TO THE LAST OF THE BEST,THE U.S. MARINE CORPS FALLEN ANGELS S/F,AND TO OTHERS WHO SUFFER FROM WARS DESIESES LIKE AGENT ORANGE.
