TheAmbassadorOfRomanceInVenus's blog: "Thoughts"

A Monument To Love From the cradle to the grave we toil, While the demon watches with a smile, From his citadel high in the sky, This castigator of all evil, Rises at Dusk to begin his day, The smile he wears making us shiver, Those who see him for what he is… Like a thief he comes, From the apothecary of Hell, Bringing his potions and sleepless nights, To take a draught from his flask is fatal, And means fresh work for the mortician, Who smiles as he views his handiwork Lying prostrate in the casket, Decorated with silver cherubim, Chosen by those who profess such love… Inamorata! He cries to no avail, She can no longer answer, Or be persuaded by his whispered lies… Mea Culpa he knows despite the secrets, That lies in his broken heart… His nights are now sleepless, And he builds her tombs of pyramids To mark his love, But they are only cold stone memories, Of that which he once loved…

Not Anymore… Awash in a sea of memories, Drowning silently, I could raise my hand, Ask you to save me, But I don’t want to be saved. Not anymore. You ask if I think of you, And I smile sadly, Not anymore, Not anymore. I think of blue summer skies, And the wild mustard swaying in the meadow, The doe sipping from the sweet spring waters, The jay calling her young babes to fly, Not the clumsy bear crashing through the forest, Rending trees with sharp claws, Tearing the heart out of the land, Roaring with impatience and hunger… And I hear you asking again, Do I remember those long winter nights, When we huddled together to fight the cold, And whispered secrets to keep the darkness away- But my dreams are filled with moons and stars, A silver path that leads into the night, Lonely calls from the wolf, And the scream of the eagle as it hunts, I don’t remember you, Not anymore… The river runs its wild course, Swelled by the melting snow, Raging over rocks, Destiny unknown it keeps its path open. I stand before it, Arms at my sides, Feet moving blindly forward, Step by step until I feel the icy cold, Lapping at my feet I grow numb as ice approaches my heart, Rejoicing in the freedom of feeling nothing, I think of blue summer skies, And wild mustard, Not of you, Not of you, Not anymore.

In my prison walls I see People laughing..being free Signs of life outside this room Shattering the haunting gloom In this cage I've built myself Only and empty shell is left ****************************** I wonder why I feel no pain In this world of the insane Silence so loud all around me Demons of hell won't let me be Cannot stop the bleeding tears Or calm the twisting turning fears ****************************** I've built these walls all around No one has ever knocked them down In my lonely world I stay Sometimes to withdrawn to pray The shadows dance as they hear me cry Darkness beckons my will to die

*A Surprise Meeting* He found her. He was inspired. Without hesitation he made the first move. It all seemed so innocent. I mean, he had no idea, (how could he?) of what had actually been found. He would find out and, having no choice, submit to her advertised temptations. The need to touch her darkness would soon overwhelm and weaken his will, until the she became an obsession. Resisting would no longer be an option. Knowing right from wrong would be forgotten. It began with typewritten words on a screen. She turned simple words into poetry. Her words were hauntingly familiar and refreshingly real. They expressed a dark and almost desperate sort of passion that sang in harmony with his own. They were painfully raw, breaking down all his defenses. She spoke of things that were only touched upon in his dreams. Things he never shared with anyone until now. She forced him to reveal what was locked inside his soul. Before her, no one ever dared to go there. Her desires were his secrets. Her darkness became his newfound addiction. Before long, her words were his salvation. The intensity of her emotions was intimidating. She stimulated his mind with her honesty. Her sensuality shined through in words, sprinkling his soul with a kaleidoscopic vision of pure ecstasy. A natural performance with a deadly effect. After seeing her picture, a mere snapshot that could never fully capture her lustrous beauty, it all fell into place – piece by piece. She was the enigma that excited him, the fire that ignited him. But these passions remain stifled in his mind, unable to be released. Until now. What initially brought him to her was the music of her voice. It stirred something deep within, inspiring him to create. He had little, if no idea, of the music they would give birth to. A sound like a spell, first finding its way to the soul, swirling around like a warm breeze, entangling itself to the body and then clinging to one’s desires. **A Shared Dream* He constantly thinks about her with each passing day and fantasizes loving her during the long lonely nights. Her hair would smell like blossoming roses at their peak; shinning like silk under the radiance of the moon. He reaches out to touch it in dreams and the softness and sweet scents heighten his arousal. He can get lost in that scent and in her, for a lifetime. He suddenly feels like a boy, who for the first time sees a naked woman and becomes painfully aware of the effects it has on his body. And then he gets lost in the dream. With unsteady steps he moves toward her. Her presence dominates his sight as he is blind to everything else around him. Her mysteriousness captivates his full attention; her passion opens him to her bewitching darkness. Does he even dare to think of tasting her sultriness or touching her in real life? * * She’s only touched upon him in a dream of her own dark illusion. Until now he’s been a figment of her imagination. She’s never had the pleasure of hearing his voice nor seeing the contours of his face. She knows nothing and yet everything about him, this phantom, this forbidden entity whose own destiny echoed in silence to others but called to her in a song only she could hear. She has dreams of her own you know. She stands naked by an open balcony but doesn’t turn to face him. A strong gust of night wraps itself around her and dances through her hair exposing the flesh of her neck. She runs her fingertips through the dark tresses lingering there for a moment letting him drink in all of her. Only then does she turn to face him. Her soul is in rare form, like a diamond. Seen differently from every angle. Sharp and witty. Dazzling and sexy. He’s shaking. He is feeling amorous. He is drunk on lust. Her naked body, only inches away, is more than he can bare. And when she turns around he stands there barely breathing, unable to speak, unable to move. He’s almost afraid to look at her, fearing she might disappear. She is wrapped in beauty. A beauty he’s never seen before. It scares him. It electrifies him. He looks at her face and could swear that she must be the dark angel he’s been searching for all of his life. In her eyes he sees a hunger. In her soul he sees heaven. Her body is that of a goddess, each curve holds a secret as the tempting darkness between her legs invites him to come inside and explore. And as she moves toward him she never takes her eyes off him. * * Her body screams for his touch. He’s so close now. He looks sexy wearing nothing but blue jeans. She gets lost in the darkness of his eyes knowing he is the only one who can see into her soul. She can sense his fear. She knows he’s afraid. She’s afraid too. A shiver runs through her knowing that at any moment they will touch for the very first time. *Back To Reality* The intensity of the moment or perhaps what is about to happen next awakens him. For a moment he is lost. Disoriented. Longing for something he knows he cannot have. Movement on the bed brings him back. Looking down at his sleeping lover he knows in his heart of hearts, that he can never love her the way he loves this beautiful dark angel. Even if it’s only in his dreams. An inner sadness crosses his eyes. The room is now cold and empty. Falling back onto the bed he raises the blanket to his chin, lying very still as to not touch the stranger beside him. He willingly falls asleep. Alas, his imagination tricks him again and he sees her there, in electrified splendor, and reaches out hoping to touch her in dreams. * * She wakes up with his name on her lips. She wakes up with his lips on her imagination and she wonders if she is all alone in this infatuation. Her heart pounds wildly in her chest. She’s soaked in sweat. The nightgown she wore to sleep is now crumpled on the floor. She is naked and very aroused. She looks around the room half expecting to see him there. Letting out a disappointed sigh she lays back down on her rumpled sheets and thinks about him once again, willing herself back to the dream. * * He is so close this time, so very close to touching her. She is afraid no more. She closes her eyes focusing intently on her dream lover until she falls asleep. Within seconds he is there, just like before. The only difference now is that he’s reaching for her. Taking a deep breath she reaches back and is ready to depart reality and touch him in dreams. Copyright © 1997 -2007, Sunny-TheAmbassador - All Rights Reserved.

Living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking. Loving might be a mistake but it’s worth making. Being with him I am slipping away. Losing my heart, yet finding his. He has touched a part of me I thought was dead; reviving my body as if I were a dying flower, with love as the warming sun and him as the sacred water. I’ve tried to express my feelings but the sharp twinges of fear keep me silent. Those times we almost touched make me shake with a growing need I know only he can satisfy. With every torturous hour of us being together but not together, my will weakens. My head spins with desire but I don’t dare give in to the emotion. I know only too well the pain that comes from loving someone. It’s the kind of pain that fades with time, but never truly goes away. It’s the kind of pain I cannot imagine living through again. He’s sitting a little too close right now. The sultriness of his lust smells like secrets, like dark things better left unsaid. I struggle to resist the temptation yet my yearning for him escalates. I sense he feels the same as he nervously pulls back the strands of hair that stubbornly fall in his face. He looks so ravishing wearing his James Dean ensemble; white crew neck tee and faded blue jeans. For a moment our eyes meet and the realness of it reels me into a state of panic. Needing to break the spell enrapturing my heart I run from him. I willingly retreat from the light of his love and wrap my arms around the comforting darkness. My breath is erratic and my heart beats wildly in my chest. My body drips with perspiration as forgotten passions spill over me. I reach my destination and follow a stone path leading to one of my favorite places. I wonder how much longer I can keep running. Enormous trees peer down protectively, in an almost loving way. Branches sway as leaves whisper softly to each other with the wind. It is another hot summer night. The rain should provide some much needed relief. Earlier today thick silvery clouds invaded the hazy sky. We watched like children as they gathered into shrouds of mist. I like having him close to me, perhaps a little too much. Now, the pervasive and alluring darkness hides threatening clouds. A quick flash of lightning sends me deeper into the woods. The uncanny silence tingles my ears. It begins to drizzle. I close my eyes and lift my face to the sky. The gentle touch of rain lovingly caresses me. The air is cooler and a little more bearable but I’m still hot. I’ve tried to stay away from him yet always find myself knocking on his door. He always lets me in. I tell myself he is nothing more than a good friend. If that were true then why can’t I stop thinking about him? No matter what I do, lustful thoughts of us together further seep into my mind. If anything, the rain further teases, enhancing my desire to be with him. Unexpectedly, the rain pattern changes into a hard, angry, even forceful downpour. Huge drops, like tiny rocks prick my skin. I try to wash him out of my soul. I imagine him standing in front of me frozen in time and the harder it rains the blurrier my vision gets until he’s simply gone. This brings me no comfort. I start to tremble. I’m not sure if it is from the chill in the air or the stifled passion I keep locked inside. My heart is overwhelmed with emptiness. I’m missing him already. The thought of him not being in my life for one minute forces me to finally face the truth. I not only want him, but I’ve helplessly fallen in love with him. Suddenly a new kind of fear sets in. The fear of losing him. I bring my hands to my face pouring the pain out in tears. * * * * * * I watch as she runs away. Again. I take a deep breath letting the air out very slowly. Nervous and afraid, aroused and anxious. I know these feelings all too well. She’s got me tied up in knots. She’s got me wishing on stars. I think back to the countless attempts I’ve made trying to get close to her, wondering why I let these childlike games continue. Whenever I try to touch or even kiss her, she runs away like a frightened little girl. Just when I start to see a sparkle in her dark eyes, she backs away. Still, I hurry after her. Again. It’s all I can do to stay sane. Without even knowing it she’s taken control of my heart. I’m fully aware of the danger in getting too close but am willing to take that chance. Why can’t she? She looks so incredibly beautiful tonight. She’s sexy without even trying. Her long brown hair always smells like lilies, refreshingly sweet. I want to bathe myself in the fragrance of her. I want to fall helplessly into her arms and make love to her. And her smile. The power of her smile can see me through my darkest days. Our relationship started out so innocently. It’s funny to remember that now. We met at a local diner. I overheard her chatting with a waitress about being new in town and needing a place to stay. She looked lost and alone. The waitress didn’t know of any vacant apartments in the area but pointed to a nearby magazine rack by the door that contained free apartment guides. That’s when I stepped in and approached her. I couldn’t believe the butterflies in my stomach swirling around, making me a little dizzy. I hadn’t felt that way in years. She greeted me with a smile. A genuine smile. It was amazing how when she smiled, her whole face lit up and her eyes came alive. I cleared the growing lump in my throat and introduced myself. We started talking and it was incredible. When our eyes met it felt electric. The chemistry between us hit me hard. I dismissed the attraction at first. I didn’t have time for any kind of relationship right now. My heart was still healing. My hands were shaking. The butterflies returned. Shifting the gears in my mind we thumbed through the apartment guide and since I knew the area quite well I offered to help her look for an apartment. A few days later fate stepped in. The apartment across the hall from mine became unexpectedly available. With a little secret maneuvering, I got her the apartment. We started spending a lot of time together and I realized that the connection between us went beyond physical attraction. What’s great about us is we became friends. Real friends. Our friendship continued to blossom and I found myself falling in love. I held back as long as I could before my emotions started getting the best of me. It’s just been quite a challenge getting her to open her heart. Her smile warms my soul, even on the coldest of nights. She expresses a dark sort of passion, stemming from her constant search for truth, love, and understanding, yet scars of the past keep her a prisoner of past walls. I understand her pain and have wiped away many tears. Sometimes it’s hard to be with her because I want so desperately to show her what she fears most. Love. On those rare occasions when she lets her guard down, I see a side of her that is playful and carefree. Something is developing between us, going far beyond the limitations of friendship. Every time I look into her eyes they tell a story of heightened arousal mixed with suffocating fear. But doesn’t she know I too am scared to death in revealing my feelings? Making my way through the familiar darkness I find her. My heart tells me to reach out but I don’t dare. I linger for a moment battling my own insecurities. My mind reverts back to the many times we caught each other staring or how we exchanged monosyllabic words even though we had so much more to say. Tentatively I walk toward her. Fear entangles me but I'm strong enough not to break free from its tight grasp. I need to let her know what my heart can no longer deny. I see him through the heavy darkness. I watch and wait, wondering what he will do next. He looks so sexy right now. I sense the urgency in his eyes and feel the escalating desire between us. A desire I've felt all along. He moves closer. I step back. Remembering the earlier vision of him fading away, I am close to running into his arms. A screaming voice inside commands my attention forcing me to stay quiet and very still. He asks what I'm doing standing in the rain. I tell him it will free me. Perplexed he asks, “From what?” “From you” I whisper, and then run away once again. As the sky bathes in blackness, my instincts guide me to a place further into the swallows of the forest. He’ll never find me here. There are many secret places I go to when life becomes overwhelming. Like now. I steady my pace and follow a winding path, which leads to a shallow pond. The battle in the sky has since calmed and rain lightly falls in tantalizing sprinkles. I listen closely to the soft music of the thunder. The storm is far from over. But the storm raging in my soul won't let me be. The battle between heart and mind are constant. I long to share my darkness with him but fear controls me. I just can’t pour my heart out to another living thing. The ghosts in my room know more about me than anyone real. In my dreams we are together. There is no fear. There is no hesitation. I lived that dream once, only it quickly turned into a nightmare. One I’m still running from. Why can’t I bury the past and give love another chance – before it’s too late? He listens to my stories, dries my tears, and makes me smile a thousand smiles. I laugh at all his jokes and most of them are really funny. There are times when the laughing stops and all becomes quiet. Then he’ll look at me, the wanting emanating from his eyes and it makes my heart flutter. My body responds and I want him too, but never tell him of my desires. I’m paralyzed with fear and it wins every time. Even though I don’t deserve his patience, he offers it to me, time and time again. He must really love me. I make my way to the secluded brook hidden by gigantic redwood trees. From here the darkness seems endless. A faint light from several overhead lamps illuminate the area. Raindrops create dozens of ripples in the shallow water. The sound calms me. The air is much cooler now but I’m still feeling the heat. Clothes feel heavy on my hot skin. I look around to see if he is near, listening for any signs of life. Nothing. Satisfied that I am alone, I remove my long skirt keeping the black slip on. After unbuttoning my blouse the cool air provides some relief. I know he can’t find me here. He doesn’t know this place like I do. * * * * * * Staring at her through a fence of branches, nothing seems real anymore. She doesn't know I have come this far. There’s a lot she doesn’t know. My emotions are so focused on her that I’m swept away. She looks incredibly sexy with wet hair. Her clothing clings to her like a second skin revealing every beautiful curve. I can only fantasize about the beauty hidden underneath the long cloak of a skirt. Hardened nipples reveal themselves, enticing me even further. I get aroused thinking about her naked breasts. Touching them. Tasting them. I watch in awe as she slips off her shoes and pulls down her skirt. It’s almost too good to be true. The black slip is much shorter than the skirt revealing her calves and knees. The sight of her nakedness makes me shudder. Though the storm has subsided, a different one rouses inside me. I imagine myself sitting beside her and touching her wet skin. Our kisses would be brimming with a sense of urgency as silky tongues danced and explored. Wait. What is this? She’s opening her blouse. I feel guilty for watching but cannot look away. The black lacey bra accentuates the soft curves of her breasts, further taunting me. This is pure agony. To see her this way and not be able to express how I’ve been feeling since the day we met. The rekindling of the fire in the sky is empowering, giving me the strength to I need to abandon this dominating fear. Spikes of lightning intensify, temporarily light the darkness. This time I won't let her run away. There won't be any choices left to make, except to take my hand as I pull her into my world opening her soul to the beauty of our most intimate fantasies. * * * * * * I hear something. A rustling sound. He appears out of the shadows with wild determination in his stance. How did he find me? My heart leaps with excitement. I begin to quiver with a heady mixture of lust and love. Out eyes meet and the stare becomes unbreakable. He stands there like a frightened little boy but when I catch his eyes I see the man, the lover, and the hunger. “Please don't run away again.” I won’t hurt you.” He takes a step closer and says, “I could never hurt you.” I do not speak. Not a sound. I’m forever torn between what my head says, what my heart feels, and what my body demands. He moves a little closer, I step back, only to realize there is nowhere left to run. There's just him. I can feel his eyes on my body. Glancing down I remember that I’m standing there half-naked. I suddenly remember that I'm standing there half-naked. Not knowing what to do next I frantically start buttoning my blouse. When I turn to gather up my clothes he rushes towards me. “No, don’t! Let me look at you.” I remain perfectly still, barely breathing, as his eyes take in all of me. I’m going to break at any moment. The way he’s looking at me, the way I’m feeling, I cannot fight this fight anymore. My heart is pounding. My emotions are exposed for only him to see. I've pushed him down deep in my soul for too long. I need to let go. I need to let myself feel. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” He moves closer. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to be with you?” He rests his hands on my shoulders and says, “I must confess something.” Feeling light-headed as if in a dream I manage to blurt out, “Wh-what is it?” “I've imagined what it would be like to kiss you so many times.” Without a moment to think, I forget my head and let my heart finally speak. “If I kiss you now, I won’t be able to stop.” “Good," he says with a smile. "Because I don’t ever want you to.” It is then that they touch, truly touch for the first time. The walls between them are let down by a flood of thunderous emotion. They fall together and their lips gently touch. She smiles as he hugs her tight, laughing into his mouth. Then they kiss. It starts off slow and tender then grows as their passion grows. Any traces of uncertainty have vanished. This kiss, their first kiss, stays alive for a long time. Outside the rain is falling but they don’t seem to notice. If anything, the rain only makes this moment more romantic and memorable. He gently strokes her cheek and says, “I’ve loved you for so long.” She responds with another kiss. Tears are falling from her eyes. “I love you too. I’ve been such a fool. I--” “Shhhhh.” He puts his finger to her lips. “None of that matters now.” She kisses him again making a silent vow never to run from love. Not when it feels this good, this right. She looks into his eyes seeing nothing but love and devotion. In a whisper she says, “Make love to me.” He kisses her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, and her lips. He opens her blouse and it falls off her shoulders onto the floor. She lifts up his shirt and it gets tossed aside. They get down on the ground and a different kind of exploration ensues. He starts kissing her neck as his fingers gently squeeze her nipples. She lets out a soft moan and the sound of her drives him wild. He kisses her breasts and teases her nipples with his tongue. Breathless she says, “I want you now.” Fumbling with the belt buckle he realizes his hands are shaking. He finally gets his jeans off and pulls her slip down only to discover she isn’t wearing any underwear. He spreads her legs pushes himself deep inside her. They make love under the dark sky as the rain steadily comes down. Just like with their first kiss they move together very slowly, savoring every moment. As the pace quickens her moans turn into screams of unbridled pleasure. They come together and fall into each other’s arms. A first kiss born out of true love will be forever seared onto the walls of their souls. Copyright © 1997 -2006 , Sunny- TheAmbassador- All Rights Reserved.

“Sorry for posting such tear-jerkers… My way of handling my blues mood… Okay!! ********* When dark brings the night Dull and feint within my heart Dark dreams of passion Seeking the current of healing On a path alone Your image holds my mind My bare heart shivers With a cry furlong Destroying Intruder Disaster My conscious has stop The edge is near That’ s why I am staying in distress In this world of pain I can still hear Your voice in my ear I can’ t believe my eyes If that is… What my love did to you I rather die today Than to… Ever love again The pain is just Too much!!

A year of tears has flown so slowly not much laughter for the truly lonely Oh! there had been such moments - brilliant smiles when hope and trust had surged forward for a while. The stars had shone more brightly with you - life passed quickly as passions grew. Talking our language - knowing few understood wanting our spirits to fly if only they could. So many tears - all caused by laughter Saying beautiful things without regret after. Then suddenly silence roared loudly at me I sensed a fear - it really wasn't difficult to see that your dark demons were at war with us, discussion with them was completely pointless. So the sweet tears that flowed turned suddenly sour as disappointment weighed heavier by the hour. The thunder compelled me to think of you making my heart pound as you used to do. Alone at night, I longed for you to get in touch wanting to simply share our connection again so much. Then one night as the moonlight was dying you approached me and said it was worth trying. Tentative and with huge trepidation I let you back in without condemnation. Oh how wonderful - we flew higher than ever before you touched me in so many ways and I felt sure that only a physical divide would keep us apart as I sensed the passion deep within your own heart. We met again and on so many plains my heart was wild and free without restraint. Oh....but those demons were strong as they kept provoking you - saying we were wrong. They liked the taste of my bitter-sweet tears as they confirmed my deepest of fears. Then with the cruellest of blows you finally let the other side of you show. The sabre severed my heart from my head I needed our passion alive not dead. I have learned to live with the bitter taste of the tears shed - they were such a waste. Now you really shouldn't get me wrong I was never weak I am very strong... but how sad for emotion to travel this road where storms rage and thunder bellowed. So now I stand where I was once before sheltering from pain and wanting no more. Only you could now want us to still be friends but sadly I am resigned to the fact that this is how it ends. Twelve long months with so much more than four seasons all flavoured by love without any reasons. You gave me hope and helped me to grow ..but I understand now and know I must go.

Harmonious Applause! Accute sensations. Retribution a force Aware of false declarations! Laughter of course! Deplorable vibrations! Tremors in heart Hateful lies Ended apart! Sordid memories! Heartfelt disgust! Intolerable tragedies! Total mistrust!

Florists and floral experts alike will agree that flowers hold the meaning we give them and the feeling with which they are given. Your message card will express the true sentiment of your floral gift regardless of what flowers you send. That is what makes flowers special. They can say I’m Sorry, Congratulations, I Miss You or I Love You. With this in mind, there are some common folklore associations relevant to each type of flower. Here is a general list of those sentiments. ACACIA, (blossom) - Concealed love, Beauty in Retirement ACORN - Nordic Symbol of Life and Immortality AMBROSIA - Your love is Reciprocated AMARYLLIS - Pride, Pastoral Poetry ANEMONE - Forsaken, Sincerity ARBUTUS - Thee Only Do I Love ASTER - Symbol of Love, Daintiness AZALEA - Take Care of Yourself For Me, Temperance, Fragile, Passion, Chinese Symbols of Womanhood BACHELOR BUTTON - Single Blessedness BEGONIA - Beware BELLS OF IRELAND - Good Luck BITTERSWEET - Truth BLUEBELL - Humility BOUQUET OF WITHERED FLOWERS - Rejected Love CACTUS - Endurance CAMELLIA - Admiration, Perfection, Good Luck Gift to a Man CAMELLIA (PINK) - Longing For You CAMELLIA (RED) - You’re A Flame In My Heart CAMELLIA (WHITE) - You’re Adorable CANDYTUFT - Indifference CARNATION (GENERAL) - Fascination, Womanize Love CARNATION (PINK) - I’ll Never Forget You CARNATION (RED) - My Heart Aches For You, Admiration CARNATION (PURPLE) - Capriciousness CARNATION (SOLID COLOR) - Yes CARNATION (STRIPPED) - No!, Refusal, Sorry I Can’t Be With You CARNATION (WHITE) - Sweet and Lovely, Innocence, Pure Love CARNATION (YELLOW) - You Have Disappointed Me, Rejection CATTAIL - Peace, Prosperity CHRYSANTHEMUM (GENERAL) - You’re A Wonderful Friend, Cheerfulness CHRYSANTHEMUM (RED) - I Love You CHRYSANTHEMUM (WHITE) - Truth CHRYSANTHEMUM (YELLOW) - Slighted Love COREOPSIS - Always Cheerful CROCUS - Cheerfulness, Gladness CYCLAMEN - Resignation and Good Bye DAFFODIL - Regard, Unrequited Love, You’re The Only One, The Sun Is Always Shining When I’m With You, Respect DAISY - Innocence, Loyal Love, I’ll Never tell, Purity DANDELION - Faithfulness, Happiness FERN - Magic, Fascination, Confidence and Shelter, Grace FERN MAIDENHAIR - Secret Bond Of Love FIR - TIME FLAX - Domestic Symbol FORGET ME NOT - True Love, Memories FORSYTHIA - Anticipation FREESIA - Trust, Innocence GARDENIA - You’re Lovely, Secret Love GARLIC - Courage, Strength GERANIUM - Stupidity, Folly GLADIOLA - Give Me A Break, I’m Really Sincere, Flower Of The Gladiators GLOXINIA - Love At First Sight GRASS - Submission HEATHER (LAVENDER) - Admiration, Solitude HEATHER (WHITE) - Protection, Wishes Will Come True HOLLY - Defense, Domestic Happiness HYACINTH - Games and Sports, Richness, Dedicated to Apollo HYACINTH (BLUE) - Consistency HYACINTH (PURPLE) - I Am Sorry Please Forgive Me, Sorrow HYACINTH (RED or PINK) - Play HYACINTH (WHITE) - Loveliness, I’ll Pray For You HYACINTH (YELLOW) - Jealousy HYDRANGEA - Thank You For Understanding, Frigidity, Heartlessness HUCKLEBERRY - Faith IRIS - Emblem Of France, Your Friendship Means So Much To Me, Faith, Hope, Wisdom and Valor, My Compliments, Promise IVY - Wedded Love, Fidelity, Friendship, Affection IVY SPRIG OF WHITE TENDRILS - Anxious To Please, Affection JONQUIL - Love Me, Affection Returned, Desire, Sympathy, Desire For Affection Returned LARKSPUR (PINK) - Fickleness LILAC - Beauty LILY (ORANGE) - Hatred LILY (WHITE) - Virginity, Purity, Majesty, It’s Heavenly LILY (YELLOW) - I’m Walking On Air, False and Gay, Gratitude To Be With You LILY (CALLA) - Beauty LILY (DAY) - Chinese Emblem For Mother LILY (EUCHARIS) - Maiden Charms LILY (TIGER) - Wealth, Pride, Prosperity LILY OF THE VALLEY - Sweetness, Tears Of The Virgin Mary, Return To Happiness, Humility, You’ve Made my Life Complete MAGNOLIA - Nobility MARIGOLD - Cruelty, Grief, Jealousy MISTLETOE - Kiss Me, Affection, To Surmount Difficulties, Sacred Plant Of India MONKHOOD - Beware, A Deadly Foe Is Near MOSS - Maternal Love, Charity MUM - Hope MYRTLE - Love, Hebrew Emblem Of Marriage NARCISSUS - Formality, Stay As Sweet As You Are NASTURTIUM - Conquest, Victory In Battle NUTS - Stupidity OLEANDER - Caution ORANGE BLOSSOM - Innocence, Eternal Love, Marriage and Fruitfulness ORANGE, MOCK - Deceit ORCHID - Love, Beauty, Refinement, Beautiful Lady, Chinese Symbol for Many Children, Thoughtful ORCHID (CATTLEYA) - Mature Charm PALM LEAVES - Victory and Success PANSY - Merriment PEONY - Shame, Gay Life, Happy Marriage, Compassion PETUNIA - Resentment, Anger, Your Presence Soothes Me PINE - Hope, Pity POPPY (GENERAL) - Eternal Sleep, Oblivion, Imagination POPPY (RED) - Pleasure POPPY (WHITE) -Consolation POPPY (YELLOW) - Wealth, Success PRIMROSE - I Can’t Live Without You PRIMROSE (EVENING) - Inconsistency ROSE (BRIDAL) - Happy Love ROSE (CHRISTMAS) - Tranquilize My Anxiety, Anxiety ROSE (DEMASK) - Persian Ambassador Of Love ROSE (DARK CRIMSON) - Mourning ROSE (HIBISCUS) - Delicate, Beauty ROSE (LEAF) - You May Hope ROSE (PINK) - Perfect Happiness, Please Believe Me ROSE (RED) - Love, I Love You, Passion ROSE (TEA) - I’ll Remember, Always ROSE (THORNLESS) - Love At First Sight ROSE (WHITE) - Innocence and Purity, I Am Worthy Of You, You’re Heavenly, Secrecy and Silence ROSE (WHITE AND RED TOGETHER) - Unity, Flower Emblem Of England ROSE (WHITE AND PINK TOGETHER) - I Love You and I Always Will ROSE (WHITE - DRIED) - Death Is Preferable To Loss Of Virtue ROSE (WHITE - WITHERED) - Transient Impression, Fleeting Beauty, You Made No Impression ROSE (YELLOW) - Decrease Of Love, Jealously, Try To Care ROSE (MUSK CLUSTER) - Charming ROSE (SINGLE FULL BLOOM) - I Love You, I Still Love You ROSE (GARLAND OR CROWN OF) - Beware Of Virtue, Reward Of Merit, Symbol Of Superior Merit ROSEBUD - Beauty Of Youth, A Heart Innocent Of Love ROSEBUD (RED) - Pure And Lovely ROSEBUD (WHITE) - Girlhood ROSEBUD (MOSS) - Confessions Of Love SMILAX - Loveliness SNAPDRAGON - Deception, Gracious Lady, Strength SOLIDAGO - Success STEPHANOTIS - Happiness In Marriage, Desire To Travel STOCK - Bonds Of Affection, Promptness, You’ll Always Be Beautiful To Me SUNFLOWER - Pride SWEETPEA - Good-bye, Departure, Blissful Pleasure, Thank You For A Lovely Time TULIP (GENERAL) - Perfect Lover, Fame, Flower Emblem Of Holland, Luck TULIP (RED) - Believe Me, Declaration Of Love TULIP (VARIEGATED) - Beautiful Eyes TULIP (YELLOW) -There’s Sunshine In Your Smile VIOLET - Modesty, Virtue VIOLET (BLUE) - Watchfulness, Faithfulness, I’ll Always Be True VIOLET (WHITE) - Let’s Take A Chance On Happiness VISCARIA - Will You Dance With Me? WINTERGREENS - Harmony WISTERIA - Welcome ZINNIA (MAGENTA) - Lasting Affection ZINNIA (MIXED) - Thinking (or in Memory) Of An Absent Friend ZINNIA (SCARLET) - Constancy ZINNIA (WHITE) - Goodness ZINNIA (YELLOW) - Daily Remembrance

It was after that dream that it happened. That dream of Israel and us - you chased me around the chalky, high-walled alleys. I heard the slip of your foot as it slid in its sandal I could almost see it as you ran fast after me. Our always chase. Of course, you caught me; arms waist-wrapped, my pale-blue dress hiked we two laughing until our eyes met; pale green, black-flecked set off by a light tan - I saw that gleam. I knew it then. You knew it too: Led me back to a white-walled room where I offered and you took. We - lovers then. Over tea and honey I told you about it. "No choice," you said. My heart's fast beat and whir Such details I told, stammering. You said then, "What is it you are waiting for? You know it will be me." I could not argue. The dream mere confirmation. So there we were, remarkably alone, nobody to patrol - and you led me to a high-wooden, linen-sheeted bed where I stood and you so reverently undressed me leaving me only in my tap-pants while I meanwhile fiddled with the blue ribbon-edging until it began at last to unthread - You knelt, and gently pulled it through each eyelet - me - ribbon- undone, you placed us on the bed. I was no longer that girl of summer's past - kisses had, and even that! Now, still awkward in these new curves; you had never seen me before, uninterrupted and this time your eyes moved over me until I was spotted-pink and flush with shyness. And you offered me your tongue - that gentle wafer, spirit, communion, absolution I took you in, took you in, and then and then and then I heard my own sigh-cry of your name, Elijah: We were changed - now true lovers. No way around it now. The only evidence of this a rose-bud attar on the white, white linen: Where we had came. Where we had been.