This a fictitious what if type of situation. It is being narrated by the Baseball announcer. All characters and things of that nature are coming directly from the bible its self. Please don’t be offended just enjoy it for the sheer comedy that it is.
Announcer: It is a beautiful day for a ball game folks. We are delighted to see this special matchup between the best of the Old Testament vs. the New Testament. This game is coed and will decide who the better players of baseball are and whose section is the best. Also for an eternity of “NA NANA NA NAs”. So let’s bring you down to the field for the opening pitch.
The players for the Old Testament are as follows, also in batting order.
1. Elijah 3rd base 2. Elisha CF 3. Joseph (Dream Coat) 2nd base 4. Solomon 1st base 5.Esther 6. Samson LF 7. Joshua RF 8. Joab SS 9. Samuel C David P Manager Moses
New Testament lineup 1. Paul 1st 2. John the Baptist 2nd 3. Peter CF 4. Mary 5.Judas 3rd 6. Timothy LF 7. Luke RF 8. Barnabas SS 9. Stephen C James P Manager Jesus
Well we are on our way with this fantastic lineup and again this beautiful day in Iowa. Folks we have a good one for you today and the opening pitch is done by no there than the Father of Israel him Jacob. The pitch is right on the money to the catcher. As Jacob walks off the mound triumphantly the New Testament takes the field for the begging of this baseball game. The crowd cheers as Jesus steps out of the dugout and raises his cap to the fans. However there are a few boos and jeers probably coming from the Jewish section, mostly not of disrespect but as in the light not seeing him as the manager that he is, more on the lines of a glorified baseball player. But hey that’s baseball and managers know that are loved and hated all the time. Before the first batter comes to the plate I would like to make mention of one of our sponsors. Nike Air Apostles, for when you need to move on dust your feet at the door and move on to the next one while wearing Nike Air Apostles.
Leading off for the OT is Elijah, who is known for his epic battle with Ahab. Also fun fact Elijah is known as the “troubler of Israel”, kind of catchy and here is the first pitch. Called first strike by the home plate Nicodemus. Here is the 0-1 pitch and foul tip back in the stands and that’s strike two on Elijah. James is looking for his sign cycling through them finds one he likes, gets into his wind up high fastball inside and.... ball. Sending Elijah into the dirt to avoid what could have been a serious hit folks. That ball had some heat on that one; Elijah is getting to his feet dusting himself and looks at the pitcher. James tips his cap. No dug outs clearing in this series of pitches as both sides have now started to trash talk. Here is the next pitch and it’s a deep fly ball, back to the track runs Timothy. He settles under it and out number one. Elijah but some muscles behind that one but just not enough to send it over the wall.
Next up to bat is Elisha and no the O T’s are not trying to pull a fast one but this is Elisha with an “S”. Steps in the batter’s box, looks for his pitch and strike one. Oh Elisha is shaking his head in clear disapproval of that called strike. He settles in again, James now in his stretch, lets ball fly and another screaming line drive down the left field line, Timothy is on his way to corral the loose ball and Elisha is on his horse rounding first making his way towards a stand up double. A well place hit for the traveling companion of Elijah.
Looking to send the runner on second home is Joseph and his Technical Color Dream Coat. Folks I am here to tell that this really is a colorful coat. I mean there reds, blues, purples, orange, the list goes on. Oh it appears that Jesus is making his way over to home plate umpire Nicodemus to what looks like to chat about this coat. It appears that Jesus is making an argument that the coat is just too busy and would be a distraction for the infield. Nicodemus tells Jesus he will let the coat stay for but in the event the coat interferes with play then the coat will have to go. Jesus is now unhappy with this ruling and is walking back to the dug still giving the ump a mouthful. Nicodemus issues a warning to Moses about the jacket my mistake the coat. Moses throws his hands up in I guess what appears to say I had no clue he was going to wear it. Joseph settles for the first pitch and it’s a homerun! First home run of the game folks and just look at that coat just shimmer in the sun as it trails behind him rounding the bases. James is upset yelling at the umpire stating he could not clearly see the sign from his catcher due to the audacious nature of the coat. Ump issues a warning to Joseph and here comes Jesus out to the mound for the first time. Can’t really tell what’s being said but James appears to be less agitated about the homer.
Coming to the plate now and looking to add more points to this 2-0 lead is Solomon. And it appears the Solomon brought his own cheering section, about 250 wives and concubines are in attendance. Solomon known for his wisdom and we are going to find out if his wisdom can translate into swinging a bat. Strike, Two, Three. There is the first record strike out for the game folks. Looks like Solomon prayed to the wrong gods this at bat. He is known for idolatry so we will get a chance to see which one he will pray to next. That’s two outs and score is 2-0 Old Testament. And the next batter is Esther looking again to increase this lead for the Old Testament. Esther was an orphan raised by her cousin Mordicai and was then chosen to be queen by King Xerxes. She’s also been made famous by having herself depicted in plays, opera, and a miniseries. She also has a book out which sets in Madison Wisconsin. Well they do make some good ball players from the mid west let’s see if she can make some stars shine with this at bat. Oh too bad three straight fast balls from James. Man he is settling quite nicely after giving up that home run. Here we are bottom of the third and first up to bat for the Newbie’s is Paul. Paul also known as Saul is digging in for the first pitch. Ooh high and inside fast ball from David, here is the second pitch and another inside fast ball. I don’t know why David is trying to push Paul from the plate, it’s not like he is some goliath crowding the plate and making his strike zone disappear. So its two strikes on Paul as he waits for the next pitch and it’s a low outside curve ball. Paul is showing some good eye sight by not chasing those two balls that went low and way, especially for a guy who lost his sight for a few days. The count is 2-2 and David is in his wind up, here's the pitch. It’s a blooper down the first base line and that’s a single for Paul. John the Baptist is the next batter folks; he’s a switch hitter and a DH in the Old Testament. Switched sides to the new once he baptized his manager Jesus. I guess baptizing the Son of God can come with a right to choose which team a person can play for. David has his sign and goes into his wind up it’s a fast ball down the middle and John blast it into the gap of left centerfield. Here comes Paul on his horse rounding second, making his way towards third. He takes a wide turn from third and he is moving towards home. Here is the throw from the outfield, Samson has a canon for an arm, and this ball is a straight shot from left field. The catcher squares up, Saul or Paul or whatever his name is goes into slide and he is out! Thrown out by an incredible throw from Samson, folks if you could have seen this ball get rifled out his hand; I’ll tell ya just shear superhuman strength displayed by Samson. His unorthodox form of training by holding up pillars must be paying off. Not many people could have that throw. And John is safe at second not even daring to make the move to third on that kind of a toss. So that’s one out for the bottom of the third with a runner in scoring position. Here is Peter up to bat next. And Peter was denied three times, the consecutive pitches down the middle, I guess he knows how it feels to be denied. One out remaining in this inning and up to the plate is Mary, the mother of Jesus. Mary is more of a contact hitter but the infield is adjusting accordingly. John is taking a big lead from second, David turns fires and John is back in time beating the throw. Dusting himself off while David gets back into is wind up, John is taking a big lead again, David looks towards John, and then fires his first pitch, and John is off! Taking a massive jump on the pitch and is running towards third. Here’s the throw from the catcher and John is thrown out at third. It appears that Moses and John are sharing words; it appears that Oldies’ skipper is screaming “Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Property”. It is truth folks those two Commandments but I am not sure that they apply here in baseball. But if Moses wants to yell it who’s to stop him? They were given to him to decree to the people after all. But that does it for the third inning folks, there was some drama and some excitement, and two excellent plays to close out the inning. This is gonna be one heck of a game.
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What happens in Sodom and Gomorra stays in Sodom and Gomorra. Book your stay today, don’t look back you may turn to salt.
In a world where faith and love is everything, where a man can be measured by the size of his family and live stock not by wealth. One man stood above the rest and that man was Job....
“And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand”. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD.
The chess bored is set, with each move played the story unfolds. Loss of everything, “Naked I came out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return: Lord has given, and Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of Lord."
Coming this harvest season “Chess, The Story of Job. Where a pawn can be greater than a King...” “Shall we receive good from God and shall not receive evil?"In a market square near you.
We are back to what has turned out to be an even ball game. The score is 3-2 New Testament; they fought back from a 2-0 deficit with some big hits from Luke, Stephen, and the leadoff man Paul. Paul sent a ball deep into the right field corner sending the runners home. That gave them a 2-2 lead and Peter brought in a runner off an error of the Third Baseman Elijah. He looked a bit confused after the play and starting pointing to sky. Claims he saw some sort a fiery object flying over head. The umpire saw nothing and the play stood. So here we are folks top of the 6th Old Testament has their chance now to take the lead on in this next series of pitches. Up to the plate is Samson, he had that awesome throw earlier in the game but hasn’t done much at the plate. And folks I may be getting old but I am certain that his hair is getting shorter each time he comes out of the dugout. Samson now sporting the new look digs in at the plate, here’s the pitch. It’s a high fly ball deep center field; Peter is going back, back, back to the wall and snags it at the warning track. That ball had some height to it but not enough strength to get it out of the park. I don’t know what’s wrong with Samson it appears he has been losing his power throughout this match.
That’s one down two more outs reaming here in the top of this inning. Making his way to the plate is Joshua; a celebrated military leader has lead the Israelites in several victories coming out of Egypt. And he has been leading this team going 2-3 for the day. He is very close to Moses, assisted him up the mountain, and spied for him, now he is Moses’ leading hitter for the day. Joshua surveys the field, looking for a gap. Folks it appears that the sun has gotten well sunnier. The sun was setting a few moments ago but now it appears to be high noon here in the stadium. Not sure what is causing this but Joshua is taking his stance in the batter’s box. First pitch is a low and away curve ball, second pitch, James is set, gets his sign, and strike number 2 with a high inside fast ball. Joshua is shaking his head, he did not like that called strike. The count is 1-1 James is into his wind up delivers and it’s a hit! Screaming ground ball up that splits the short stop and second basemen. The funny thing is that both players had a play on the ball but oddly enough they both dived in opposite directions. And here comes Jesus out of the dugout, I can tell if he is angry but he does look serious. The first base umpire is now making his way over to the conference and is point to the Old Testament dug out. The ruling is Divine Interference on the side of Moses raising his arms and making the two plays split. Memories of the red sea I suppose. Moses comes charging out the dugout irate. Trying to make his case that his arms are raised in cheer not in a parting motion. The home plate umpire doesn’t want to hear it as it seems. Explains that anytime he raises his arms things go in opposite direction. Moses is having a massive tantrum; he is kicking dirt on the umpire’s shoes and pants. Now he is pouring dirt onto home plate. The umpire doesn’t seem to be phased. Moses looks at the umpire and raises his hands and wait hang on folks I am getting a buzzing sound. We may be experiencing some technical difficulties. My word we have locust now entering the field, pouring over the left field wall. Players are now scrambling for cover, both sides retreat within their dug outs. Moses is still standing at home plate and now it appears that the ump has tossed Moses out of the game! It is hard to make out but it looks like Moses is being sent to the showers early for what I am gathering from the field is misuse of a biblical plague. This is a site folks the grounds crews are struggling to get the tarp over the infield amongst this dense swarm of locust. We will be right back as soon as we get rid of this infest station.
“What’s this?”“Looks like a pile of dirt.”“It's not dirt its salt!”“Guess who ever that was looked back”Sodom and Gomorra book your stay now.
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Who is worthy to open this scroll? Where do you stand? With the deceivers or non believers? The time has come for Revelations. John “Who is that on the horse wearing a crown with the bow and arrow?”Voice” The Anti Christ.”
(Insert epic world ending music in your own heads please to help aid in the destruction of the world.)
Seven seals, seven disasters, one choice, Him or Him, chose.
The Seals coming soon near you...
And we are back the locust have been cleaned up by the field crew and surprisingly enough the fans returned and help clean up the seats. We would have been back sooner but we were facing technical difficulties. Apparently some of the locust chewed on some wires. Now don’t you worry folks we are fully operational and we are reporting to you live at the top of the 9th inning with score tied now 3-3. Before we left due to divine interference Moses was ejected and Joshua was sent back to the plate to redo his batting attempt. Something that really hasn’t been heard of in baseball. Joshua’s big second at bat was a huge single homer into center field. After that homerun James got out of the inning with little issues, striking out the remaining batters to retire the side. Aaron has now taken over as manager of the Oldies who is the brother of Moses.
The 7th and 8th innings have turned into a very intense pitchers duel with neither of the pitchers giving up a single hit for the innings. Here we are at the top of the 9th inning Oldies are up to bat. James doesn’t look too fatigued after that incredible 8th inning, recording 3 consecutive strike outs; he is now ready to face the next batter. Solomon is back to the plate now and his cheering section of 250 strong has begun to chant his name. Wow those ladies really want their man to be the hero of this inning, and let me tell you he would get such a hero’s party if he can put some points on the board. James goes into his progression, throws it in for strike one. Man, James is in the zone right now, he just threw a baffling change up that spun Solomon all the way around. Solomon digs in ready for the next pitch; here it is...strike two. Folks if you can hear the Solomon section these ladies are getting seriously upset with that last call. It was questionable indeed low curve ball at the knees. Solomon is also getting chatty with home plate umpire Nicodemus but he settles down and goes back into the batter’s box. James waits for his sign cycling through till he finds something he likes. Goes into his wind up flings it and it’s a hit! A chopper down the 3rd base line, over the head of Judas who appeared to make that much of an effort to snag that one. James looks furiously over to Judas who is making a sign that it was over his head. Well that’s a single for the leadoff batter of the inning and the ladies in Solomon’s camp are going wild, wives and concubines alike are waving, cheering, blowing kisses, and well let’s just say if he gets to score this inning he will score later tonight. Next up is Esther who has been solid defensively this game but not much of a force on offense. Struck out a few times flied out as well. The pressure is on her to put Solomon in scoring positions. Yes I did say scoring positions. James has his sign wings in a nasty curve ball; Esther gets a good jump on it another ball down the third base line and goes through the legs of Judas! Lucky for him Timothy was playing really shallow so that runner could only take one base. James is fuming now. Folks it seems this game could be lost in just a few more swings of the bat for the Newbie’s. Next up Samson, who is now sporting yet another new haircut this one just as bizarre as the last. He has also struggled in this game. There is a woman who is waving some hair in the stands that sit above the dugout and holding up some scissors. James throws a hard fast ball; it’s a shallow fly ball just behind first base, keeping all the runners where they are. I am not sure but after that massive toss to home earlier in this game it seems like Samson has gotten weaker and weaker with every hair cut. Well ball players are a strange lot I suppose. That’s out number one and two more remaining for this top half of the inning. Joshua is up next who has been the force of the Oldies is up to bat. James waits for his sign, goes into his stretch, strike one. Outside fastball that Joshua chased. Here’s the next pitch, strike two! The bottom fell out of that curve ball. Joshua digs in for what could be his final at bat and here is the pitch. A line drive right back to the pitcher, ball got pass James and here’s John the Baptist making a stellar diving grab flick of the wrist to get the ball to short stop who fires it over to first. Double play to end the inning. An accurate throw from Barnabas who has been efficient all afternoon offensively and defensively. Turns the double play and quiets the rally from the Old Testiment hitters. Joshua hit that ball hard but a great heads up from John the Baptist. Up next is Newbie’s after a word from our sponsors.
This just in Sodom and Gomorra has been destroyed due to unexplainable forces. What happens in Sodom and Gomorra doesn’t matter now cause the place is gone.
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In a world where everything is covered in water one man was chosen to save a few. Heckler: “What are you building?”Noah: “It’s an Ark and if you stop being a disbeliever I let you on”Heckler: “Disbeliever you are just a tired old fool”Noah: “Hey I offered.”This summer join Noah and his Family as they take on building an Ark. Enjoy the laughs as Noah tries to gather all animals by two to place them in the Ark. Suffer along with Noah as he pleads with his son to leave the disbelievers and to get on the boat. 40, a new reality show set to hit this summer. Noah: “What’s a cubit?”
Welcome back baseball lovers and we are now ready to see a conclusion to this epic baseball game. Score is tie still as we go into the 9th inning here at the ballpark. During our commercial break there was a shouting match between James and Judas over the plays that Judas missed. Several players had to come in-between them including Jesus to separate the two players. Jesus sent James to the locker room to cool off. Judas is on the on the other side of the bench now while Mary in the On Deck Circle. Peter is at the plate waiting for David’s first pitch. David winds up delivers and it’s a called strike one. Peter steps back in the box and here’s the second Peter gives it a good swing and it’s a blooper over second base, landing in shallow center field. Peter leads off with a single and now Mary is up. Mary isn’t known for her hitting power but she can get on base. She has been stranded a few times during this game. David looks over at Peter keeping him honest over there at first. Goes into his wind up and a foul tip back into the stands. Here is the next pitch and another foul tip back into the stands again. It seems Mary is looking for an off speed pitch that she can drive opposite field. But two straight fast balls were thrown her way and she barely got the bat around in time. Now the third pitch, ball one. David gave her four straight fast balls and that last one went into the dirt. David again checks the runner on first, gets his pitch, here’s the pitch, and it’s a chopper folks. Mary hit a chopper that bounced high into the air. Peter got a good jump and is making his way towards second and Mary is running hard down the first base line. The ball lands just in front of third baseman Elijah whose throw wasn’t in time at first base. It was a good effort but just too much of an awkward position to throw from. And Mary is safe on first Peter is safely on second, this brings up Judas. Judas has been a little sketchy this afternoon. Missing easy plays, but has been pretty strong at the plate. Judas drops his practice bat and makes his way towards the batter’s box. Judas digs in surveys the field, checks the signal from the third base coach. David goes into his motion; Judas digs in and waits for the pitch, and strike one. Judas steps out of the box gather to himself and gets back on there and waits for the next pitch. David gets his sign, goes into his wind up and it’s a shattered bat hit! The ball goes into shallow center field; Peter is rounding third and making his way home. Peter is in and Mary making her way towards third. The throw is in and I don’t believe it folks Mary has leapt over the third basemen. I don’t leap she jumped like a clear 7 ft in the air! It’s the ascension of Mary folks up and over and she is safe! Safe at third, Judas is safe on second. Out comes Aaron to argue the play at third. Home plate umpire Nicodemus is discussing the play. I can’t repeat what is being said folks but it is really getting heated out there. What’s this folks hold on here we have a new development has just occurred on the field. David is pointing at the broken bat that is lying near the mound. Nicodemus is leaving Aaron and is making his way towards the mound. He picks up the bat and he’s pointing at something, the bat is corked! It’s a corked bat folks I don’t believe it a corked bat! Judas is now making his way towards the mound to plead his case. They are exchanging words and here comes Jesus now out his dug out. Judas is pleading his case to both Jesus and the umpires. Judas is pointing towards his other bats claiming he grab the wrong bat. Looks like Judas is trying to pull a Sammy Sosa ladies and gentleman. Nicodemus is throwing out Judas! Judas is furious now and Jesus seems to be cool as a cucumber. Judas is going bezerk on the field, claiming it was an accident. Hearing this over and over again Jesus looses it! Jesus is now shoving Judas back towards their dug out! Folks this is the first time I ever seen a rise out of Jesus this entire game. It appears that Judas and Jesus are exchanging words; Jesus is now accusing Judas of betraying him. Jesus is pointing to the stands can’t really tell where he is pointing but he is definitely pointing at someone in the stands. Judas is now in tears folks it is hard to tell what really is going on the field. It is total pandemonium near first base. Jesus is calling Judas a name; well he is calling him a Judas! Not sure if this is a new level of insults by turning a person’s name into an adjective but that is what Jesus is doing right now. You can hear him yelling “You Judas!” repeatedly and I have to say I am not surprised to the lack of profanity. Well when you are the Son of God you can refrain from profanity but you get adjective liberties. The officials are trying to gain some control of the madness between Manager and player. Judas eventually walks off into the dugout and order returns to the baseball diamond. We will go to a short break while the officials try to sort out what’s going to happen on the field.
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Welcome back folks, during our break the officials have sorting things out. Seeing that Judas who has been ejected for using a corked bat has been deemed an out. Mary will go back to first base and Peter who scored from second was told to go back to second base. So that’s a runner in scoring position, a runner on first, and one out for the inning. Jesus has not sent an updated list yet probably because he is still looking for a sub for Judas. I guess he has some confidence that his team can score at least two runs to get the win. Up to the plate now is Timothy followed by Luke. Let us get back to the action of this terrific drama filled ball game. Timothy is in the box now waiting for his first pitch. All he needs is a good ball to hit to send Peter home and advance Mary to second. Don’t be surprised to see a sacrifice fly here just to get a run in. Peter needs to be ready if that is the strategy that Jesus wants to with for this batter. David is set and waiting for his pitch, Peter is inching towards third but not too far because he doesn’t want to lose a huge scoring chance now. David checks the runners, goes into the wind up and foul tip back behind the plate. A strong fast ball still showing some zip even though we are deep in the 9th. It’s as if his arm is a sling shot of some sorts. David settles in looking for sign for the next pitch. Gets something he likes again checking the runners turns and fires towards second and oh no! The ball hits the top of Joseph’s glove! He stepped on the hem of his coat and stumbled a bit. I do not know why he is still wearing that busy coat but it certainly cost him. Peter advances to third and Mary slides into second beating the throw. I guess there won’t be a second ascension of Mary this time around, what a spectacular play that was, leaping over the third baseman and landing safely on third. Too bad Judas had to use a corked bat because this game would be closer to being over. The score is tied still, Peter is on third, Mary on second; David is in his wind up and strike two. Timothy whiffed on that wicked breaking ball and the count is 0-2 with both runners in scoring position. Timothy digs in ready for the next pitch, here it comes and oh strike three. Timothy is wishing he had that one back. Timothy isn’t one of the strongest of players but he has heart. But this time around the Meek didn’t inherit the Earth well in this case the meek didn’t inherit a run so that two outs for the bottom of the inning. Luke is the next batter, he could the last batter or we could see some extra innings, just keep adding more drama to this already dramatic game. Luke who is another traveling companion of Paul’s will be looking for something to drive opposite field. Luke is a doctor by trade but has been a bit of a surgeon with his bat this day. Driving balls into gaps and getting on base multiple times today. David goes into his motion, doesn’t even bother checking the runners cause now it’s just a duel. Pitcher against batter, either for a win or send this game into extra innings. David is set, here’s the pitch, ball one. A breaking ball in the dirt good eye from Luke. David looks gets his sign and the wind up, strike one. A called strike one on Luke. Both dug outs are now up and standing waiting to see the epic outcome of this game. Luke is ready for the next pitch, foul, and that’s strike two. The ball is back in the hands of David who has pitch a heck of a game today is looking to send his team back to the plate. The wind up and it’s a fastball foul over the Newbie’s dug out. The tension is thick here folks almost to the point of being unbearable. Here is the next pitch and it’s a hit! A scorching line drive down the third base line going back, back, and here comes Peter down towards home and Mary is rounding third. And it’s a foul ball. The runners return to their perspective bases and Luke they almost hero goes back to the plate. David gives a sigh of relief and goes into his wind up and flings the pitch towards the catcher. And Luke fouls that one off too! This has to be the best batting performance in baseball! David throws in another pitch and another foul tip! Oh my goodness ladies and gentleman I cannot take this! Luke is battling David in one of the greatest duels baseball has ever seen. Five foul balls make those six foul balls folks. Its David Vs Goliath all over again, it is will vs. will, it's, and well it’s just brilliant. And another foul ball, Peter is chomping at the bit for one of those balls to stay fair, he represents the game ending run.
Time out! Aaron calls time out to go speak with his pitcher who has been marvelous.
Bottom of Form
Finally baseball season is here time for all fans to cheer. I got my hat on my popcorn and of course my nice cold beer.
I have the day to watch the entire game; no one is here to call my name. Did my chores yesterday wait what’s this they are saying there is a chance of rain today.
Great just what I needed a freaking rain delay and I took off to watch the game today. Let’s just wish that it passes please oh please for the sake of the masses.
Innings one through five not a single drop, let’s hope that this good luck doesn’t stop. My wife will be home around seven, I hope the game ends by then.
One, two, three, into the seventh inning stretch not a single person is wet. This game is running smoothly and when my wife comes home I don’t have to speak to her kind of rudely.
Score is tied now and is getting interesting. Oh no commentators are saying they have seen some lighting. No not now it’s the bottom of the ninth runners are on 3rd and 2nd. Wife will be home any second and I will have to jump when she beckons.
She’s not a huge lover of baseball well to say the least she is not a fan of sports at all. She’s more of romantic movie lover but hey no one is perfect and I still love her.
Now the rain is coming down and the umps suspend play. Dammit I don’t want to wait through a rain delay. Hi honey I m home how was your day? It was going good till this blasted rain delay.
Well why the game is on hold can you come listen to my day and what I sold? Sure can love I have a few minutes to spare. She looks at me and begins to share.
While she intensely yaps away in my head I silently sobbing due this rain delay. She talks about her sister, her brother, and her wildly eccentric father and mother. I could care less about who bought what how, where, or win. I just want this rain delay to end so my team can win.
Looking back to the TV seats are pretty much empty internally I am weeping. My wife looks at me and she has that look in here eye. That look of this game is going to get called so why not do things for me.
She rattles off things for me to do while I wait for the game to resume. Things like can you get this or can you put this in the room. Also what do you want for dinner? What do I want for dinner? A winner!
She shakes her head and chuckles I knew I made a big mistake. Her list gets longer and more tedious. Things like can you take the trash out and Benny the neighbor’s kid asked for me to bake a cake.
But the game and the rain will be over soon. She laughs and says look at the screen they are dealing with a monsoon. Now if you will check the gutters, switch the laundry, and take the dog out. What! You heard me she says and I just being to pout.
There nothing I can do because the rain is steady. Her work load is now getting heavy, and I m getting angry. This isn’t fair, I wanted to sit in my comfy game chair, but she doesn’t care. Now she has me running there to here. All I can say is yes dear.
This is my fault for being a fan of team in a tropical climate. Pretty sure I know the officials are gonna call it. This list of work is total bull shit. She knew this is what I wanted to do today but she’s abusing this rain delay.
The list is getting long still and now she is having a fit of a bug resting on the window sill. I just want to watch the game this rain is lame and right now my wife is being the same.
This would not be an issue if the rain had just waited. My team would have won and I would be elated. I would have done everything she asked and not even debated.
Now I am mad the game was canceled and the list has tripled. I don’t want to clean the gutters walk the dog or talk about her sister, her brother, or even her eccentric father and mother. I don’t want to switch the laundry, or move chairs to the stupid balcony.
I just wanted to sit in my chair cheer with my nice cold beer. Enjoy my team’s effort and play. Now it’s all ruined due to a rain delay. Well that’s baseball and thank goodness for 3 game series. And I’ll do all my chores and whatever she can think of in a breeze.
I missed my chance
I sat and watched you walk out of my life. Not that I did anything to stop you but off you went, on to bigger and better things. I was just person you saw out the corner of your eye some days as you came in and out of the coffee shop. In my head we did this dance like I would say hi and you would say hello and out the door you would go. Then the next day I would say hi and you would smile brush the hair over your ear and say hi. And after bout a handful of hi and byes we would sit and chat over coffee and doughnuts. Then came time for me to ask you out and you would smile and say yes. Yes would have been the best phrase one simple man could ever hear. Dating would be a breeze, there would be no fights just love and passion. Passion that burned so bright it would rival the sun. And the kids we would have would be gorgeous. Little talented angels that could hum a tune, turn a phrase, and are the humblest kids a person could ask for. I would love till I lay down on my death bed. Look into your eyes see our lives play again within your eyes and all I could was smile and say thank you for having coffee with me all those years ago. And Death and I go off together like two old school friends and I have no regrets.
Here’s your change. I am smacked back into reality and watch you walk across the café room towards the door. With every step you take I am painfully reminded of what could be and wouldn’t be. You’re so beautiful. You turn and look in my direction we meet eyes for a moment there I thought you had the same life vision I had. But you smiled brushed the hair over your ear and went out the door. I never saw you again but you gave me the best life a person could have in the time it takes to pay for coffee. Never had the strength to speak to you because you didn’t seem real. I was gun shy and I missed my chance
I wanna spend a moment with you, that's all just a moment. See I have noticed you in passing, moment.
Each time you walking by I catch you glancing, moment. See under a fair justice system I could pick and choose where it would be.
Please I am not trying to be presumptious, see. But I just really want you to remember me...for a moment. What ever the location or time or place. It must involve my finger running down your face, taste. And also possible moment of caressing you, lace. How ever I could chose I'm sure that there will be a smile, moment. One that you could see for miles, moment. But I think that ever time I see you passing, glancing, but not ever cathing really. Understand me why I should want to relive a time of enjoyment, on the train. Or in my car just remembering how we were then if there is how we are. Now I don't thats over stepping my bounds but I just want to remember you, moment, cherish you, moment. I wanna spend a moment with you...
Distant memories dance on my ceiling as I lay in bed.
Times of happiness, times of fear, love, joy, pain. All put on a show for me.
I sit in the front row wondering what was going to happen next to the character on this stage.
I cheer when he is victorious, I cry when he defeated.
I shout "Get Up Sir, Get Up!"
As the leading gets back dramatically on his feet and rides back into battle I am on the edge of seat.
It's the greatest epic I have ever seen.
The costumes in this show of distant memories are wonderful.
Each person is represented with a color and a theme.
I came to the part when it seemed like he was alone. All one could make out were silhouettes. Very difficult to make out if they are evil or good.
The character sits on the stage once again this time holding a dagger, Surrounded by these silhouettes and hands. He stares at the dagger and then cuts across his flesh.
The shadows cheer and push for more, they dance and pull at his clothes. Showing his chest he cuts across and screams in terror, pain, and joy.
Veils are lifted...
Some smile, some turn in shame...
One hand reaches down....
To a still....
Cold and lifeless...
A path is shown...
Tears fall down my cheek as I what the events take place on this stage. The faces disappear and one light, one color stays.
The leading man climbs to his feet. Clothes tattered, smeared with tears and blood.
He looks at his hands that are forever changed looks and mirror that has come down form the rafters of the stage.
Stares at the figure that now stands before him. He sees...He sees... He sees and man. Not himself but a different man with a new agenda.
A man that has lived through something that should have taken his life.
A new fire now blazes in his eyes, A fire that seemed dangerous yet determined. The man in the mirror reaches out; on his face he bore a mysterious smile.
The leading man takes his hand they forge into new man. Still wearing the scars of battles.
He walks on the path head held high, eyes determined and protected.
He walks off stage....
I lay awake...
Who deserves a second chance?
Who deserves a reason to love?
Who deserves a reason to be heard?
I do, for I am the for true.
I do, for I am the broken hearted,
I do, for I am the weak.
Who deserves a reason to live?
Who deserves a reason to hurt?
Who deserves a reason to be trusted?
I do, for am the strong.
I do, for am the one who has been hurt.
I do, for I am the one who is true.
Who deserves the right to be understood?
Who deserves the right just to leave?
Who deserves the right to make up lies?
I do, for I am clarity.
I do, for I am fed up.
I do, for I am unsure of my self.
Who deserves to drug through the mud?
Who deserves right to get their asses kicked?
Who deserves the right to cry?
I do, for I am better than they are.
They do, for I am the swift hand of justice.
We all do….
In the middle of a confrontation my mask fell off. I'm not sure how long its been off but its off. I looked down at my fallen foe and then turned to my left. I saw Innocence standing there on the corner. Tears welling in her eyes, almost begging to wake up from her dark dream. "I'm sorry, my mask came off." I said to her. She turned and ran down the street. How can I make her understand that I am still the one she looks up to and loves. "I'm sorry my mask came off," I cry out but to no one. I walk upon the body of my fallen foe and asked him why he took my mask off. He says " So the world can see how ugly you truely are. To see that you are no better than the next man. Full of flaws and just as much confusion, hate, and fear as everyone else. You are no hero, you nothing more than a delusional man who wears a mask. To hide his face not from the world but to hide is face from himself." Looking down to where my mask lies I cry for he speaks partial truthes. Yes I am a man and yes I make misstakes. There are days were I find it difficult to look upon my reflection. But I do not wear my mask to hide from myself the world, but to add a layer of covering so that I may do battle and suffer little damage. I'm sorry Innocence that my mask came off, I am still the same man, I am still the same Hero, I am still the same friend, I am still me....
We all know of this moment: You meet a person at the wrong time. They could the perfect person, the one that you have been waiting for, but there is a catch. You are them are not available. Yeah you could take the risk of trying to be with that person; alas it will just turn to dust and blow with the next passing breeze. Its God's way of mocking us for trying to have that perfect person and setting the bar of standards way too high. Like we are too good for the common folks. So this perfect, great person sits down talks to you. Makes you feel all these great feelings and feel like a decent human being. You sit and say "Dammit where are Marty McFly and his fucking Delorian". So that you could undo the emotional quagmire that you find yourself in. Here is the kicker that perfect wouldn't exist if you weren't in the conundrum you are in currently. It's like looking at the perfect meal at the fanciest restaurant and you just cannot pick up the fork for its welded to the table. And the plate drifts further away from your hungry stomach. What can you do about this situation you ask? Just laugh and enjoy the moment. Those moments are so far and few so all you can do is just sit back and relish in it. If anyone says that this is not truth and they are with their "perfect one" is a person blind by there own ignorance. No one gets the "perfect one", the settle for decent 2nd or alright 3rd. It's the way of life. For those who meet their "perfect one" it's covered by tragedy. They die child dies, something that causes the two to part ways on the most hateful terms. Don't be discouraged 2nds, 3rds, hell even fourths will love you till the end of time and bid for overtime just to love you a little longer. In closing love the one you are with. Enjoys those short "perfect moments"...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
There are no caped Heroes in this strip, just plain clothes regular Joes. Standing side by side, all with something to prove and with something to hide. Each stride taken to abide by rules set by fools. Tools to control the masses fascist ideals applied to a board that has constant changing variables. Rivals exist to do battle over a simple or complex wish. No heroes on this list just simple Joes standing side by side with much to prove but with much to hide. Eyes that lie, time continues to fly someone's tears never dry. The path of the righteous is not clear. We are not sure with what we hear. What is the difference between a cheer and jeer? We fear what we don't understand. And spit on god's plan. Just a hand full of original thinkers who can't decide whether to stay or what goes. There are no caped heroes just regular Joes with much to prove and much to hide. So I sat and watched my childhood die I sat in a corner and cried.
There once was a singer with a piano playing brother, and anorchestra conducting mother.
He found himself wondering ,during the time he was performing, who am i going take as a wife?
Following some leads, not caring about race or creed, his heart would determine who would share the rest of his life.
There once was a singer with a piano playing brother, and an orchestra conducting mother.
He found that he found what he was looking for, the one he took on tour, the one he trulies adore.
Taking the vows, for richer or poorer, health and in sickness, but this last one promise he in good will implore.
The once was a singer with a piano playing brother, and an orchestra conducting mother.
He found himself staring, and his temper flaring, that life was leaving his wife.
Throwing fits, cursing God, asking why he should go through this hurt, his softly asked for a final concert.
There once was a singer with a piano playing brother, and an orchestra conducting mother.
He found himself standing on stage, will over his age, bout to create the best performance yet.
He looks to the left his brother gently wept, his mother still so beautify kept, started the tempo.
The once was a singer with a piano playing brother, and an orchestra conduction mother.
He found himself wondering, during the time he was performing, on how this night would end.
Following his mom, his brother fervently playing, the singer ended his song, hoping bravos and encores.
His once beautiful wife, who's life has transcended, on the lyrical lines that cresended, coming for the performing family.
Little did he know that on this final show, that music kept her wealthy, healthy, and very happy.
On this night of devotion, total immersion of what they truly loved. There realization is that love is music appreciation..