Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection,
make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to use the
Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still
can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial
tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird
and People take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT TO PONDER IN 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to
where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should
put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.