Fallen Dark Angel's blog: "Thought in words"

I sought you but I could not find you, I called you, but you would not answer I wandered over mountains and thru valleys The moon & stars were bright, but were dimmed By my thought of you eyes sparkling in my mind. The road through wooded meadows was frightening Few travelled on that lonely road Those I met had never heard of your name I travelled and travelled, but still Not a one heard of you nor seen you At mid-night, I thirsted for loveliness I lay under the shadow of the leafy green Weeping Willow I cried while calling upon your name, but no voice replied. Only the bubbling of the pebbly brook answered my question The waters had drowsy sounds, the hills were dark My heart grew tired from travelling, but there was no place That suited me, and if you weren't there it would never suit me I was too homesick for your face, Thinking of you, at the roads edge I fell asleep

Bitter to those who are blinded By their own fury and hostility Why are we engulfed with hate and malice When we could be pouring with Love and passion But no, our world can be....

Few know the real me. The person I keep locked away from harm. Not only the harm that other bring but what I can inflict upon myself. I once was a good kid with a potential to go far Puppy love soon became my focus, now I look back; its too late Too late to worry about having someone's affections. I let the burdens crush me not wanting to let go. Soon these burden made me empty & unforgiving. Forgotten the person I used to be. I soon gave trust to the perfect one. I thought she would be my wife. We even had a child but I was so into my life. Now both are gone from me. One day I will see Them again, but I want only one.

I hide myself and theres no one I care to talk to. Theres only you. I anxiously await the day till I see you again. I try to keep myself distant to avoid hearing your voice. Your voice is the reason I'm hear and for that I have given my life to you. Am I pathetic to give such a thing to someone I know I cannot have but I gladly will listen to every breath in anticapation Longing for words you will never say to me but still I punish myself. Someone please tell me why I do this to myself. I count the days till I can see u again and I so wish my dreams were something close to my future. As long as seeing u is part of the future than everything is okay. To be continued.........

So yeah whats the hardest things about Love, Life and everything. To me forgetting those I've known and I mean not just girls. I was army brat for the first 10 years of my life so there not many I remember from then. But the people I knew in Colorado that I dont even talk to anymore and those that I do its so different Now. I do so miss the times I shared with those that I loved the memories are still fresh in my head they haunt me to the point of insanity. Maybe thats one of the things thats wrong with me now. Not being able to just forget. As much as I miss those days I sometimes am in so much pain. The loneliness is unbearable. I trust no one any more. I try so hard to go on but there seems to be not light at the end of the tunnel. This tunnel called life. I look at everyone I knew and they seem happy but this will be continued

Standing here looking out my window My nights are long and my days are cold Cause I don't have you How can I be so damn demanding? I know you said that it's over now But I can't let go Every day I want to pick up the phone And tell you that You're everything I need and more If only I could find you Like a cold Summer afternoon Like the snow coming down in June Like a wedding without a groom I'm missing you I'm the desert without the sand You're the woman without a man I'm a ring without a hand I'm missing you Driving 'round thought I saw you pass me My rearview mirror's playing tricks on me Cause you fade away Maybe I'm just hallucinating Cause my loneliness got the best of me And my heart's so weak