Franki's blog: "disturbing behavior"

The __CHUDWAH__ Field Guild:

Davo started this discussion 2 days ago

The CHUDWAH Field Guild:

A Field Guide to Clueless Heterosexual Dominant Wannabe:

This field guide is only to be used for CHUDWAHS, and does not identify trolls, brats or subs, which are totally separate species.The Greater One Trick Wonder:
Unum Magnificata

Voice: "That's the only way to do it."

Habitat: Often seen in newsgroups, seldom seen in real life.

Range: Known to disappear for extended periods of time, but frequently returns, like a bad burrito.

Notes: Does only one thing, but occasionally does it well. Denies the reality of events that do not conform to its script of expecations. Mistakes appearance for substance. Often mistaken for Trollus Sokpuppiti. The Lesser One Trick Wonder:
Faux Magnificata

Voice: "That's NOT the way to do it."

Habitat: Only seen in newsgroups.

Range: Never goes away.

Notes: Call often identified by use of the foot stomp as a terminal punctuation mark. Attempts to do only one thing, and fails. Some observers believe this may be an immature form of Unum Magnificata, but there are no documented observations of this species ever maturing. Often mistaken for Brattus Simplistici. The Self Appointed Deity:
Deus Ad Nausea

Voice: "I am the Dom thy lord."

Habitat: Anywhere.

Range: Pops up at the strangest times.

Notes: This is a cross species variant and may be encountered at any time or place. Demands respect because it claims to deserve respect because it demands respect ... The Common Boneheaded Twit:
Non MentatiVoice: To numerous to enumerate, but you'll know it when you hear it. Habitat: Everywhere.

Range: Alas, all too frequent.

Notes: Often used as an example to support the discredited theory of spontaneous generation. The Mighty Ruler:
Magna Despotica

Voice: "A Rule for every occasion".

Habitat: Newsgroups and forums.

Range: Each individual has its own periodicity.

Notes: Has more rules and regulations than the IRS. Frequently seen posting to newsgroups and forums. Can be replaced by a tape loop or broken record. May just be a seasonal variant of Deus Ad Nausea. Often claims years of experience, but the observer should keep in mind that these are cyber years and bear no relation to the real world. The Kinky Swinger:
Copulata Multaria

Voice: "Where are the babes?"

Habitat: Newsgroups, and cheap sex clubs.

Range: Always claims to have been seen with multiple members of the appropriate sex.

Notes: Claims to be a dom because he get lots of sex. The Desperado:
Copulata Solitaria

Voice: "RUMorF?"

Habitat: Chat rooms, and peep shows.

Range: Never in the same location for a long period of time. Never seen with a member of the appropriate sex.

Notes: A dom because he wants to think he can get sex. Searching for a meat puppet to call his own. The Capitalizist Swine:
primus porcine grammatici

Voice: "All subbies must lower case their name."

Habitat: Chat Rooms and Newsgroups.

Range: Fledges in Chat Rooms before spreading to newsgroups.

Notes: Can not identify the players without visual aids. Often mistaken for Trollus Grammatici. The Faux Dom:
Subbi Timori

Voice: "I'm a dom! Are you a switch?"

Habitat: Munches and public play spaces.

Range: Extremely rare, but when encountered, considered an omen of ill fortune.

Notes: Not of the Genus Domini at all, but rather is known as The Rare Timid Sub. Spends most of its life cycle searching for a fellow submissive that he can train to dominate him.

Davo, originally posted on alt.sex.bondage way back when.

http://fetlife.com/groups/1900/group_posts/145247