I was at the bar the other night and I saw your face pass me by again. It was a ripple in time and all of what was in momentum paused while you moved. I was standing on the corner and I saw you pass in a car with out saying hello. Then again it was a dream that keeps moving along in fast motion and maybe I was waking up. I have been waiting to see you, but you never turn my way. Last night I dreamed that I was next to you and you never let me go. This morning I drank my coffee alone and I thought of you.
I don't know what love is…I thought I did, but when there is only one giving it, is it really love? Why does this man speak of love so much, when he was so damned afraid of being around it? Is a wounded heart like any other wound, does it heal and become stronger or does it scar over and become very tough and ugly? Why do I feel safer in front of friends and smile for few hours, then in front of someone that possibly could make me smile for the rest of my life I feel like I need to jump out of my skin? And yet, I sit here drinking my coffee alone.
I can answer so many questions for others but yet I can't figure out my own questions. I like being alone and doing my own thing; reason being is because I won't hurt any ones feelings when I am not around and yet I can't stand being alone for to long. I have tried to mimic the life I left seven years ago and I despise it now and yet I was more popular being an asshole… That will never make sense to me. I have thought about some of the things that scare me and I have figured out what scares me the most and that is the thing's I want and need. But yet, I am still sitting here drinking my coffee alone…
I have thought about the realistic point of view about a relationship and I have come up with just this: Love is like a business you need to give 100% of your time and all that you can give emotionally to make it grow stronger. Some times it pays off in the end and your investment grows and flourishes and you start to franchise (children). You can go public with your love and your stock could grow, the growth of love, admiration, and understanding between you both should become a pricey thing that could never be had by any vast amount of money, but you would give anything to keep that stock. You should never invest in another stock while you are trying to build your own stock, because you are cheating yourself and your business. Always remember that you have a partner and it is never a one sided decision that can be made when it comes to your business…it has to be a sound call for both you and your partner. One more thing…Never take more out of your business then it can handle and always give back with out being asked to pay back your loan because when love is taken and not given back it will eventually run out on you.
And I wonder why I am sitting here drinking my coffee alone.
