Senlata's blog: "This Stuff is bananas!"

I feel your breath on my neck as I lean back in my chair wishing for the world you were right next to me. That I could be in your arms. I look over and you sit there never looking at me. Never touching me. Never telling me how much you need me. Is it as painful for you as it is me. Do you feel our love being torn apart by your silence. If I close my eyes I can feel the blood running down my arms. Wondering if it would get your attention. My heart filled with hope you would hold me then. My body trembles with the memory of that feeling. My heart stops as I see the reason for your silence The red marks on your chest and the aftermath on my torso. I wanted you to say something...anything. You didn't even scream...just looked at me. The pain of your silence will haunt my heart forever my love.

I know I have not been around in a while and I am really sorry...*looks ashamed*. But I have been a bit busy. I wll however make more of an effort to check in more often ~_^ Later hotties!!

Well all I have some big news to share. I have had my baby. He was 8 pounds and 3 onces and 20 inches long. He was born at 6:41 in the morning on Aug 11th 2007 after freaking 10 hours of damn labor lol. He is a cubby boy too. I will put some pictures up as well.

This is going to be short and sweet. I AM HAVING A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a Bleach background on my computer and I would like to share with my friends where I get it from. animewallpapers.com. check it out. They have almost everything. Here is the other thing...YOu anime people need to check this out. http://www.fleetopscommand.com/hellsingorg/index.php#5

I know that I have not put in a blog yet but I dont like to babble on about nothing. But here is a vent... My husband joined the Army shortly after we got married and now we are still in the States as he traines to go over to Iraq. He is gone for a wekk at a time and I know that they are doing this to get the guys and the wives ready for the sepertaion but it still sucks. He got his orders that he is leaving in Dec which means he will at least be able to see our child born in Aug. But then he will be gone for 15 months. The waiting is unreal. I know that he is not gone yet but at times I feel like he is. I can feel him wanting to pull away from me in a way so that maybe I will miss him less. I am so scared that when he leaves I will never see him again. I cry myself to sleep sometimes becasue I can't seem to get the thoughts out of my head. I know that they are training him to do things that he will never talk to me about but I wish he could in some way. He holds everything in and I don't want to see him lose it. My own fears and doudts combine with his own I am sure as his combine with mine. It hurts to know that he is in pain already knowing that I am going to have such a hard time without him. The problem is at 7 months pergnant now it is really hard to hold in my feelings. He knows that I love him and I will stand by him no matter what..forever.