This pain is more than I have ever had to deal with. I can easily say that yesterday was the worst day of my life and even now it continues. I keep waiting for my body to finally let go of this baby so that I can finally start to grieve. How can I grieve a baby that hasnt left me yet? I feel so lost and empty inside. I am pregnant still sort of and yet not. I still feel pregnant and still kind of have my tummy and yet my tummy is slowly shrinking and what is contained inside is no longer alive. It is hard to decide how to feel when I should be grieving this baby when I am still carrying it but its gone.
