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This Love, This Hate

Just thoughts....What do you do when you love someone so deeply, that you can't breathe when they are away? That, they are your everything and the world stops when they aren't there. And then, when they are with you, they ignore you and don't talk to you any more. Should I give up? My heart feel battered and bruised and ripped to shreds and well, if I am gone, he probably won't realize I am gone. We used to talk constantly and now, I am lucky to get an "I love you" or "bye" or anything for that matter. I hate falling in love this deep because I always get seriously hurt and scarred.  Everything I do on here is for him and still, nothing.  I love him so much now that I am starting to feel hate. I love him so much with a full heart but hate him so much for breaking my heart. It's not about sex. I could care less about the sex and he knows this. He is an amazing person and well, I wish I was beautiful so maybe he would pay more attention to me. I am the ugly Duckling compared to his beautiful Swan. I would die for him and he knows this. Why do guys play with me like  that? And, its no, I am not talking about on fubar either. It happens every-fucking-where. Maybe I should stop trying. Maybe I should be a cold-hearted bitch like some of these other women. I NEVER want to fall in love like this...EVER again!!! I can't take it. I would rather die alone than with a broken heart.

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11 years ago
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